“She means his fraternity brothers,” Van says into the awkward silence. She gestures at the mug. “From Sigma Chi.”
“Oh,” Alice says, forcing out an extremely unconvincing fake laugh, her brain plopping sideways off the hamster wheel. “Right. Of course. Sorry, brain fart. Yes. His brothers. From the, uh, fraternity. Of brothers.”
Alice doesn’t know shit about fraternities except what she’s seen in movies. Everything is always exaggerated, of course, but it’s never seemed like those dudes are, like, super great. She files the wordsfraternity, sigma,andchiaway in her brain, noticing the way they slide without her permission fromNolan Factsinto a subfolder simply labeledUnfortunate.
“No, I, um, I haven’t been in touch with them.” Definitely not a lie.
“Okay,” Babs says, placing the mug down reverently. “I’ll see if I can reach Iron Allan.”
Alice decides not to worry about what in the world an Iron Allan is. The enormous windows start to feel threatening, like Alice is about to tip out of the building and careen down fourteen stories to splat on the cement below. “I’m going to, um, check on something with Cherry,” she says, backpedaling quickly out of what has become a very claustrophobic room. “Be, uh. Be right back.”
Alice tries not to think about how every new fact she learns about Nolan makes her like him less and less, how foolish she feels for spending 751 days pining over someone who probably wouldn’t have ever given her the time of day, and who she might have hated even if he had. She’s feeling more and more idiotic for attaching herself to him, even by evasion and omission. What do they think of her, these strong, badass Altman women, for hitching her wagon to a guy like him? What will they think of her—how will their faces fall, their arms cross over their chests, their jaws hang open—when they learn it was all a lie?
She quickly walks down the hallway, breathing fast, but in her panic she forgets that the only way out of this suite is right past Cherry.
“Hey, Alice,” Cherry says, stopping Alice from her attempt to blow past the front desk. “Can I talk to you for a second?”
“Sure,” Alice says, not bothering to hide her grimace. What today definitely needs is a one-on-one conversation with the tall, flawless goddess who very recently fucked her fake-boyfriend, and is maybe his actual girlfriend.
“Listen,” Cherry says, tucking a strand of blond hair back. “I, um, I didn’t know he had a girlfriend.”
She doesn’t say out loud she slept with him, probably in case Alice really is the most oblivious person in the universe and hasn’t figured it out yet. But they both know what Cherrymeans—she didn’t know he had a girlfriend when she hooked up with him—and she looks so horribly guilty and torn up about it that Alice sighs. None of this is Cherry’s fault. Not her perfect hair or her skill at being femme or the fact that Alice’s enormous lie of omission is making Cherry feel like shit. “It’s okay,” Alice says softly. “I don’t—I’m sure it was before anything, um, happened between us.”
Because, of course, everything that has ever happened in human history happened before her and Nolan, seeing as there is no her and Nolan.
Cherry opens her mouth like she’s going to protest, but Alice shakes her head. “Seriously. Don’t worry about it, okay? I’m not…it’s not a problem, Cherry.”
“O…kay,” Cherry says. “And it’s Ker—”
“Alice.” Van’s voice comes through the hallway, sharp and clear, and Alice both hates and loves the way everything in her chest suddenly loosens, letting her fully exhale for the first time in what feels like half an hour. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” Alice says, turning quickly. “I’m good.”
Van is glaring at Cherry now, who mutters something about going to the bathroom and positively scurries away, her towering heels clicking hurriedly on the floor as she flees Van’s scrutiny.
“I’m sorry,” Van says, her eyes softening as soon as they land back on Alice. “You shouldn’t have had to—Nolan shouldn’t have…”
“Hey.” Alice holds up a hand, surprised by how close together they’re standing. She could so easily lay her hand on Van’s chest. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not.” It comes out of Van with more force than Alice expected. Alice’s eyes drop to Van’s hands, still opening and closing.
Van takes a step to the side and sinks down, half sitting on the corner of Cherry’s desk, gripping the edges of the wood with her long, strong fingers.
“It is, though.” Alice moves even closer, letting herself talk softly, at eye level with Van for the very first time. “Like, I get it. She’s…” She sighs. “I mean, you saw her. She’s hot. There’s not…I don’t think there’s a single person in the world who would turn her down for me.”
It’s quiet for a long moment, and Alice immediately regrets her words. Would Nolan’s real girlfriend, someone serious enough to be hanging out with his mom while he’s in a coma, really be cool with him fucking Cherry on the side? Likely not, but Alice simply can’t muster the effort to pretend to be mad right now. Cherry and Nolan haven’t done anything wrong. The only liar here is Alice H. Rue, and all said liar wants to do right now is curl up on Van’s strong chest and fall asleep to the comforting thump of her heartbeat.
Something in Van’s perfect face settles, like she’s made a decision. “Yes,” she says softly. “There is.”
After a few beats of Alice trying not to fling herself at Van, swallowing down everything she shouldn’t be feeling and definitely shouldn’t be saying, Van moves off Cherry’s desk. She drops heavily into a chair tucked over to the side for waiting clients, and Alice sinks into the one next to her. Babs and Aunt Sheila must be checking Nolan’s desk for secret compartments or something, with how long they’re taking in a room that clearly has nothing personal in it. Van looks over at Alice. It feels a little like she’s trying to distract Alice from what she’s just admitted when she says, “Do you like working here?”
Alice takes the bait, silently agreeing to the vibe change.“The night shift was awful. I hated that. So today, being on the day shift—that was much better,” she says, shrugging. “But it’s still…you know. Not thrilling or anything.”
Van nods. “If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?”
“Like, if I could go back in time and change my whole life, or starting from right now, with who I am?” Alice is almost positive you can’t become a whale scientist with no degree, a C+ in ninth-grade biology, and never having actually been on a boat.
“Starting from now.”
