“How are they? Are they okay?” Julia asked.
“Hey, Jules,” his brother said. “Dad’s got a broken arm, and Mom’s got a couple broken ribs and a collapsed lung. We’ll know more in a little bit.” Min sounded so matter-of-fact. So calm. Tae hated him in this moment. He didn’t have the right to be calm.
“What happened?” Julia asked.
“They took the curve off the freeway ramp too quickly, and with the slick roads they spun out of control. Another car hit them, and they went off the side. The car is totaled,” Min explained.
The car.
The ER.
The surgery.
Would their insurance even cover all of this?
Tae couldn’t let himself worry about it right now.
“Luckily the guardrail was there to stop the car, so it wasn’t worse.”
It sounded bad enough to Tae.
“I just don’t understand why they were even driving tonight in the rain. Where did they have to go? They don’t go anywhere on the freeway other than church,” Min wondered.
“I—I told them to go out,” Tae muttered. “I told them to go have some fun, to do something romantic while I was gone tonight. I didn’t think they’d leave the house in the rain, though. They never know their limits. They don’t use common sense. I have to always be there to prevent them from doing something stupid.”
Bitterness cut through his mouth. He’d held it in for so long. Used his family as an excuse but never letting himself admit the flip side. Not being able to be whole, feel successful, live his own life. Tae was the one they called when something happened, not Min. Because Tae would drop everything and be there. He’d drop his job, his girlfriend, his life. He’d drop Julia if he had to.
“Don’t beat yourself up like that, Tae. You can’t control theirlives,” Min said. His attempt to make Tae feel better rubbed him raw.
“Why are you here, anyways? How did you know about the accident? I’m the emergency contact. They wouldn’t call you first.” Tae said it to hurt his brother.
Min pulled back. It was a direct hit. He swallowed and clenched his jaw, narrowing his eyes slightly. “I’m in their phone asSon 1. Apparently, that means something to them. And if you’re gonna be an emergency contact, maybe don’t turn off your phone.”
“Sorry to have made you leave your precious job and the life you’re obsessed with above everything else to come here.” Tae laid the accusation on as thick as he could. He didn’t know where else to focus his anger, his fear.
“Tae.” The voice was soft, gentle, too kind, too intimate for the harsh lighting and the bitter smells of this environment. “Don’t do this. Let’s focus on your parents.”
He pulled his arm out of her grasp.
“When can we see them?” Tae asked the nurse.
Tae’s voice shook, and Julia rewrapped her hands around his arm, holding on tighter this time. She was not letting him push her away. He didn’t want her here. He didn’t want her to ever let go either.
“It’s gonna be a while. I suggest you go home and get some rest and come back tomorrow morning,” the nurse said. How many times did she tell families to go away and come back later? How many times had that messaging actually worked?
“Tae, the nurse is right. We’ll just be sitting here in this waiting room with no news. Let’s go home and come back early,” Julia said.
“No, I’ll stay.”
“Go home, Tae. I’ll stay tonight. You come back and relieve me in the morning. There’s no use both of us sitting in these uncomfortable chairs with nothing to do,” Min said.
It wasn’t a challenge. It was an honest offer.
Tae hesitated. If he went home, he’d drive himself crazy. And Julia had driven him here. He hated to admit it, but she was the last person he wanted to see right now. He didn’t want to see anybody, actually. He wasn’t thinking straight, and there was a good chance he’d think or feel or say something he’d regret later.
“I’m the one who stays,” he bit back. “You go. You both go. I’m not leaving.”
I can never leave, he thought to himself.
