“Oh, good. I trust you. You’re so good with all that stuff. I wanna sing karaoke with your mom,” Julia said. She thought she’d heard Tae say something about her being a nut under his breath, but she wasn’t sure. “Tae?”
“Yeah, Jules.” His voice was soft, amused, listening.
“Was this one my fault?”
“Julia...”
“Could I have done something differently so that this date wasn’t such a disaster? Should I try and like trot music? Maybe it was the wine that made Young Kim seem like the biggest egomaniac on the planet. If I—”
“Julia, you didn’t have to do anything differently. It wasn’t your fault. He doesn’t deserve you, not even for one date. I’m sorry you didn’t have any fun.”
“I had fun at our BTS concert,” Julia said and sighed.
“Yeah, so did I,” he replied.
“Thanks, Tae, for everything.” Julia’s heart warmed. She always felt better when she talked to Tae. Her eyes got heavier as the car drove its way to her home. She sighed one more time. “You always make me feel better about myself, really,” she said, letting out a long sigh. “Why can’t all men be like you?”
“Julia, don’t be silly,” he said.
Julia’s entire face felt so heavy. She was so sleepy. She remembered letting out one last sigh and vaguely mumbling some final words. “You’re the one I want to be with, Tae. I hope they set me up with you next...”
Julia didn’t know how long she’d been dozing. But when she opened her eyes, the car was pulling up to her building. She said her thanks to the driver, took out her keys, and shuffled up to her condo, all thoughts of the night’s conversations buried beneath her dream of going straight to bed.
17
Competency Porn
Julia
“What am I going to do?” Julia whined.
“About what? The fact that your company is growing faster than you planned and you can’t keep up with the demand? Or about the fact that your parents have managed to find you worse men than you’ve found for yourself? Or might it be the fact that youmaybeconfessed your true feelings to Tae—”
“Oh God.” Julia pulled her knees up to her chin and tried to make herself as small as possible. Could she just hide here on Rachel’s couch for the rest of time? Unlikely. Rachel’s personal space was precious to her, and she’d likely kick Julia to the curb before the end of the night. “But maybe I didn’t? That’s the problem. I don’t remember. And I’m never drinking again.”
“Uh-huh.”
Uh-huhs were Julia’s single biggest pet peeve.
Julia reached for another piece of pizza, flicking off the olives and green peppers, and took a bite. “I started looking at property in Twentynine Palms.”
“Where the aliens are?” Rachel asked.
“That’s Area 51,” Julia corrected.
Rachel shrugged, grabbing her own slice of pizza, picking up the olives Julia had discarded and piling them on top. “Same difference?”
“Not even close. Twentynine Palms is in the desert near Joshua Tree. You can get houses with acres and acres of land, and there won’t be another human for as far as the eye can see. Self-banishment. I figure I can put my foot down, insist that I’m off the market, and haveUndateabletattooed to my forehand. I can’t be blamed, since there’s no one nearby to even date.”
“Sometimes, I wonder how it is that you own your own business,” Rachel said.
“I’m sorry I’m late. Our general contractor got everything wrong, again, and now I really am thinking James and I bought a money pit. What did I miss?” Sonia asked, rushing in the door and plopping down on the couch. She looked at the pizza and took two similar-sized slices and put them facedown on top of each other to make a double-decker.
“Julia’s moving to be with the aliens.”
“Twentynine Palms?” Sonia asked.
“That’s Area 51,” Julia corrected, yet again. Didn’t any of her friends know geography? “Twentynine Palms is not... oh, forget it. I don’t care. You guys don’t have to take me seriously. You won’t be around in my desert bubble anyways. I’ll be blissfully alone.”
