“Hi, Mom. My day is going really well, thanks for asking. Yes, my health is fine, and the weather is delightful,” Julia said sarcastically.
Tae smiled. Julia was such a nut.
“Ya, Julia, I have no time for silly meatless conversations,” Mrs. Song said. Tae smothered a laugh considering Julia was vegetarian. He wondered if Julia found it funny too.
“Oh, funny you should bring up meat,” Julia said.
“Julia, I don’t want to talk about cruelty to animals and how steaks hurt our planet right now. I want to hear about your date.”
“Mom, I’ve never accused steaks of hurting the planet—”
“Why, God? Why must I have such a spirited daughter who doesn’t just obey her mother?”
If Julia’s mom was anything like Tae’s, turning to pray to God in the middle of a conversation meant she was entering precarious territory. Tae felt slightly guilty that this was all happening for everyone to hear. He tried to get Mrs. Song’s attention, to signal to her that she should take this off Speaker. But she didn’t even acknowledge him standing there awkwardly holding her phone.
“Fine, Mom. The date was—” the pause was deafening “—it was fine.”
“Oh no. Julia, what did you do?” Mrs. Song asked.
“What didIdo? Why are you assuming that I did something wrong? Why do you always think it’s my fault?”
“Julia, that’s not it. I’m just asking if maybe you were too strong about your opinions.”
Tae looked over at Grandma Song. The only indication that she was even listening to the conversation between Julia and her mother was the deep furrow between her brows. Grandma Song was a woman of few expressions. But that furrow was clear. She was paying attention to every word.
“What’s wrong with having opinions?” Julia asked.
“I don’t want you to scare him away is all,” her mom answered, continuing to make kimchi in the middle of what seemed like a pretty important conversation.
Tae’s mom, to her credit, pretended like she couldn’t hear a thing.
“Mom, Michael Lee took me to a barbecue restaurant and ordered hundreds of dollars of meat, even though he knew I was a vegetarian. He planned it for seven o’clock in K-town, even though I told him the traffic would be awful from where I was coming from. He ordered plates and plates of uncooked meat, cooked it at our table, and then put that meat on top of my bowl as if I was just gonna eat it. And then—” Julia stopped with a dramatic pause before delivering the knockout punch “—he ordered brown rice at a Korean restaurant.”
All three ladies gasped loudly.
The line was silent.
“Mother! Am I on speakerphone?”
“Oh, Julia, it’s just Halmoni,” her mom answered.
“Hi, Julia,” her grandma said.
“Taehyung-a, can you bring me the last box of cabbage?” Mrs. Song asked.
“Tae is there too?” Julia shrieked.
“Um, hey, Jules,” Tae answered. “And just to round it out for you, my mom is here too.” Tae felt he owed her that much.
“Hi, Julia,” Tae’s mom chimed in cheerfully, as if it wasn’t awkward at all that they were all here listening to Julia’s business.
“Oh. My. God. Mother,” Julia hissed.
Tae knew Julia was embarrassed and angry, but he suddenly found the whole thing hilarious. He couldn’t help himself. He let out a laugh.
“Tae Kim, are you laughing at me?” Julia asked.
“Uh, sorry, no. I mean, I am—laughing, that is—but I’m sorry too for laughing and for your bad date.” Could Tae fumblethis any worse? “The dude sounds like an asshole, Jules. Sorry you had to go through that.”
