Tae didn’t expect Min to understand. He didn’t even expect him to support whatever decisions he made. He loved his brother, but they wanted different things out of life. They were just... different. What he hoped was that he could have a beer in peace, though. Tae took a pull from the bottle and let the hoppy amber liquid make its way down his throat.
“That actually makes me think about quitting even more now. Because staying in Chicago feels like something I’d regret.”
“You’re being immature and irresponsible. You can’t just quit your job. Quit once and you’re starting all over at the bottom rung of the corporate ladder. Cutting all ties to your previous life, your job, your apartment is a fool’s move. And why? Because you’re unhappy? Happiness is overrated. And even so, there are no guarantees that it’ll suddenly be all sunshine and rainbows if you move back here permanently.”
“We’re in Southern California, Min. It’s as close to a guarantee of sunshine as we’ll ever get.”
Min rolled his eyes at Tae. “Well, I’m proud of you, little brother. I mean, you’re screwed now that you’re jobless and live with our parents in our childhood home. But as long as you’re happy...” He said the wordhappyas if it sat bitter on his tongue.
“Asshole,” Tae said to his brother. He grabbed another one of Min’s overpriced craft beers from the fridge and sat down on the couch for another slice of pizza.
Min whacked at Tae’s feet, pushing them off the coffee table, and put a coaster down in front of him. Neat freak.
“What are you gonna do about your girlfriend? What was her name, Kelly? Is she moving out here to shack up with you in the basement?”
“Her name is Kari, and I told you already. We broke up months ago. Maybe listen when I actually share something with you.”
“Jesus, Tae. You’re really just gonna throw your whole life away.”
“What can I do, Min? She doesn’t understand why I had to come home to take care of Dad. It’s not like I can have any kind of future with someone who doesn’t put family first. And besides, we weren’t ever that serious.”
“Is that what she’d say if I asked her the same question?” Min asked. “Honestly, Tae. I know you were miserable, so I get why you thought dropping everything might be a good idea... if you’re drunk. But what are you going to do now? Are you just gonna live off being the Korean handyman of Southern California? And what about Mom and Dad’s bills?”
“You’re the moneybags. How about you chip in a little more?”
“Like that’s fair? You’re being like the people who just live off welfare and food stamps and don’t even look for work.”
“Please don’t spew your conservative bullshit at me. I hate that. I hate when you play the privileged asshole and look downon people. We’re not even one generation removed from immigrant parents who scraped by to make a living.”
“Says the liberal asshole who has no job. Mom and Dad were always too easy on you because you’re cute. It’s like they turned off being typical Korean parents expecting the world of their children when it came to you. You could never and can never do any wrong in their eyes.”
“When did you turn so bitter? I’m home taking care of them and the medical shit. We agreed I’d do that since you couldn’t.” More likewouldn’t. “They know that it came at a sacrifice for me, and I appreciate that they’re not pressuring me. Not like before...” Tae stopped himself.
“Oh no, you don’t get to go blaming me because you’re miserable in Chicago. I only helped get you that job because Dad asked me to. He was worried about you, your future. And look at you now.”
“If I had never taken that job, if I had never moved to Chicago—”
“Then, what? You’d have taken over Dad’s landscaping business? DoesKim and Sonhave the ring to it you’re looking for?” Min asked, judgment dripping from his voice.
“Jesus, you’re a snob. That landscaping business paid for your schooling, jackass.” Tae shook his head. He was tired of this argument. “Look, I’m not blaming you for my life in Chicago. It’s just... I lost myself a little while I was out there. So now I’m just trying to figure out who I am and what I want to do.” Shit, he really shouldn’t be telling his brother this. He needed support, not a lecture reminding him what a failure he was.
“Fine, but I wouldn’t take too long trying to figure it out, little brother. You lose value when your résumé has gaps in it, especially when you can’t usecaregiveras an excuse. And do you ever plan on getting married? Having kids of your own?”
“I’m twenty-five. It’s not like my life is over.” Tae thought about the pressures Julia was feeling. Was it only a Korean thing? Or did all people of a certain age worry about success and disappointment? “Anyways, can we change the subject, please? I mean the conversation is so pleasant and all, and I really can’t wait to do it again sometime. When are you coming home to visit? It’s been weeks, and you know Mom gets extra naggy at me when she doesn’t have you to spread it around. Plus, Dad’s looking a lot better now, so you don’t have to avoid him.”
“I wasn’t avoiding him, jackass. Look, it’s crazy busy at work right now. And since they have their beloved Tae at home to keep them happy, they don’t need me to visit as often,” Min said.
“That’s bullshit. It’s not one or the other for Mom and Dad. And it’s not a competition. Hyung, stop acting like a baby and show up for the family.”
“Mom and Dad only need and wantyouin times of crisis. That’s been proven time and again. Why do I need to show up any more than I do? You’re already there.”
“First, you barely show up at all. Second, they call on me because you’re the ambitious, driven one making something of his life. I’m the willing-to-drop-everything one in the family. Because I never really had anything to lose.”
“Whatever.” Min took the beer out of Tae’s hand.
“Hey!”
“Go get another one. These are my beers, and I don’t want to get up.”
