“Well, too bad it didn’t work out. I didn’t end up with any of them, none of the setups and—” Julia swallowed hard “—and not Tae.”
“Well, it’s not like I wasted any money. Tae never actually agreed to the job.”
“What do you mean? He and I went on dates. We spent time together. We—” Julia stopped herself before she shared too much.
“Tae did that because he wanted to help you, Julia. And he continued to do it because he wanted to spend time with you. And who says it didn’t work? You and Tae will each stop being so prideful, you will each deal with your baggage, and then you’ll find your way to each other.” Halmoni closed her eyes and nodded to herself, clearly pretty impressed with her own words. As if she was some Korean Yoda or something.
Julia played back what her grandmother had just said.
“Wait, what do you mean find our way to each other? Don’t tell me your plan was for me and Tae all along? I thought you wanted Tae to date me because of his magical power to ensure marriage with the next boyfriend.” Julia couldn’t believe it. Her grandmother, her mother even, wanted her to be with Tae? Which meant she’d let her grandmother down again. “Halmoni—” Julia started.
“Why would I want you to marry a next boyfriend if you already found the right one in Tae?” her grandmother challenged, as if it was obvious.
Julia didn’t find anything obvious in her grandmother’s plan.
“Julia.” Her mother reached for her hand. “Come sit down for a minute with us. Let’s talk comfortably.”
Julia took a seat on the floor next to the two most important women in her life. She held on to her mom’s hand, and to her surprise, her grandmother grabbed Julia’s other one.
“Julia, I was a very pretty girl when I was younger. The prettiest in our neighborhood in Daegu,” her mom began.
“You weren’t that pretty. Sun-Yong Lee was prettier. But you were second-prettiest,” her grandmother said.
Her mom ignored her. “All the boys wanted to marry me. But do you know why I chose your dad as the lucky one?”
Julia shook her head. She’d never heard this story.
“He wasn’t the tallest or the most successful or the smartest. But when he smiled, his eyes sparkled. And each time, that sparkle would capture a little bit of my heart, until I realized he’d claimed the whole of it. And when it was time to ask me if I would accept him, he said that he would work hard his whole life to make sure my eyes would sparkle with joy forever. And you know what? They do.”
Tears formed in Julia’s eyes. Damn, her dad was a romantic.
“What Halmoni was doing when she asked for Tae’s help was bringing sparkle into your life. I didn’t realize. I’ve always liked Tae but never saw him as someone you’d like. Maybe I didn’t consider him because on paper he didn’t seem like the best at anything. But your halmoni saw it, she knew. Tae is smart, and he’s successful in his own right—”
“And tall. Don’t forget tall,” her grandmother added.
“Yes, he’s tall too. But, most importantly, Tae’s strength is his heart. Why wouldn’t we want the man that could love the fullest for our daughter? You have so much to give to someone who can handle it all.”
Julia didn’t know if the vise grip in her chest was because she was so touched or because she was so very sad that it didn’t work out. Whatever the reason, it hurt.
At the end, even Tae couldn’t handle all of Julia.
“But you gave up your career to marry Dad. And you,” she said, looking to her grandmother, “did the same to marry Grandfather. They loved you, but each wanted you to give up a part of yourself to be with them. I don’t want to give up who I am just to make a man happy. I don’t want to be with someone that can’t handle all of me.” This was the truth that this season of dating had solidified in Julia’s mind and in her heart. She shouldn’t have to give up anything about herself, and she was determined not to, without apology.
“Nonsense. I hated working in that apothecary. You smelledhow bad the herbalist’s store was. Imagine having that smell coming out of every nook and cranny of your body, being around it all day. Miserable, I was. Happy to go live on a farm with your grandfather, I be.”
Wait, maybe her grandmother actually was the Korean Yoda.
“It wasn’t a hard choice for me either, Julia. Your dad wanted to come to America. To do so, we both made sacrifices. Together we decided how we would make a living and build our family and lives here. Whatever I gave up, I didn’t do it for him. I did it with him.”
Julia couldn’t believe how she’d misunderstood it all. Maybe completely misunderstood whatlovemeant.
Julia looked to her grandmother, the stoic woman who very rarely wore emotion on her face. Her grandmother squeezed her hand.
“Wait and see, Julia. The timing wasn’t right. You and Tae each have things you need to do. But wait and see,” Halmoni said.
Julia swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. Maybe she could wait and see. Wasn’t Tae worth it? Wasn’t she? She wasn’t sure how this would all end up, but nothing was gonna solve itself today.
And speaking of things she needed to do...
