She strained again, edging her way to the end of the mattress. ‘I think someone or something is in the pool.’
Matthew checked the time and groaned. ‘You’re joking, right?’
‘Nope, listen.’ Matthew joined her, still and quiet, until they heard it again. There was the unmistakable sound of a distant splash, followed by a series of muffled grunts. ‘What’s the chance it’s one of the goats?’ she asked, suddenly panicked.
‘Can’t be. I checked them after dinner and locked the stable.’
‘I’m going out there to see what’s going on.’ Sarah got off the bed with a huff and tore through the room.
‘Not without me, you’re not.’ He followed her out to the hallway and across the courtyard overlooking the valley.
With all the garden lights turned off, neither was able to discern anything beyond the brick ledge, so they carefully made their way down the stairs to the pool level.
The splashing and grunting grew louder. Matthew made a point of walking ahead of Sarah, keeping her at arm’s reach.
Arriving at the pool deck, they were relieved to find that it wasn’t a wayward goat causing the commotion. The sight, however, of both Klaus and Dagmar Hartbauer – completely naked, half in the pool, half splayed across the deck, both enjoying the range of movement their new prosthetic hips allowed – was enough to terrify both Matthew and Sarah. As tempting as a frenzied retreat back up to their room was, they had been spotted.
Klaus was the first to react by way of harried gestures and repeated cries of ‘Entschuldigung!’
Dagmar, unperturbed, simply begged, ‘O ja, genau da!’ and Klaus dutifully complied, despite the audience.
Mortified, Sarah hissed at Matthew, ‘What do we do?’
Matthew’s open mouth and wide-set eyes did more than enough to convey his shock. ‘Klaus! Klaus!’ But Klaus simply carried on his rhythm.
Matthew turned to Sarah, ‘Do we just let them finish?’
Sarah couldn’t take her eyes off the pair. ‘I’ve got no idea.’
‘Fuck it . . .’
‘He is!’ she retorted, pointing squarely at Klaus.
‘Klaus! Dagmar! Please, this is not the time or place!’ Quickly realising that he was making no progress, and Dagmar was egging Klaus on all the same, Matthew changed tack. ‘Nein!Nein, Frau Hartbauer!’
‘That was an impeccable German accent,’ Sarah said through fits of laughter. ‘I’m impressed!’
‘I watchedThe Sound of Musica lot as a kid,’ he admitted sheepishly. ‘But clearly that’s not helping now!’
‘Probably just spurred them on!’
‘Well, you try, then.’
Sarah walked over to the couple and gave them a hefty shove with her right foot, pushing them back into the pool. ‘Cool off, you two! Get a room! I mean . . . go use your room!’
The pair agreed. Half-dressed and giggling indecipherably like teenagers, they crossed the courtyard and soon disappeared within La Viola.
‘I know weird stuff happens at hotels all the time, butthatI was not expecting.’ Sarah shook her head. ‘We have plenty of chlorine, right?’
‘Not enough to rid the water of that DNA.’ Matthew cringed and shook his head as if to clear it of the image of Klaus’s saggy behind. ‘ThatI will never forget.’
‘God, we have to change their linen when they check-out tomorrow.’ Sarah mimed a gagging face.
‘Shot not!’
‘Shot-you’ll-do-it-with-me, you mean!’ Sarah scowled playfully as she looped her arm through Matthew’s, and they laughed their way back to their bedroom. ‘So,The Sound of Music? Are you going to shed some light on that one? Or shall we just shelve it next to Michael Bublé?’
‘Relax. I used to watch it with my nonna. It was her favourite movie. I was six.’
