Pacing again, he said, ‘Sarah, please understand what I’m trying to say. Sex complicates things. No matter how much we try to distance ourselves from it, sex will change things between us.’
‘Or it could make things better.’ Staring at the frescoed ceiling of their bedroom, she asked, ‘Are you finished in the bathroom?’
‘Yes.’
‘I’m having a shower.’ And with that, she peeled herself from the bed and sauntered confidently across the length of their bedroom. Turning to face him at the bathroom door, she stopped. ‘Sex is always on the table, Matthew. Always.’ Pulling her t-shirt up and over her head, she caught a glimpse of him biting down on his lower lip. She tossed it to the bathroom floor. Unbuttoning her jeans, she shimmied them down her thighs, over her calves and kicked them to join the t-shirt.
Standing there in her underwear, she raised an eyebrow. ‘Understand?’
Matthew nodded through a deep swallow.
Sarah reached behind her back and unhooked her bra with one hand, catching it from the front. Her breasts bounced gently, freed from the lacy cups. As she bent over to remove her underwear, Matthew’s fists clenched briefly to fight the urge to reach out. Seeing her drop the matching white underwear onto the pile, he steeled himself.
Sarah disappeared from view, but he heard her step into the tub. With the shower now running, Matthew ran his hands through his damp hair. ‘Bloody hell,’ he murmured to himself. His brain was sending him clear warning signals, but he longed for her all the same. The sight of Sarah’s naked body – toned and feminine – had done little to appease his concerns, but she was just as sexy as he had imagined she would be.
Walking past the en suite door, which Sarah had left ajar, he saw her closed-eyed under the stream of hot water. A bar of soap in her hand, she ran it over her slippery, glistening torso and down her left leg. Watching her from the doorframe, he stood, mesmerised by both her beauty and confidence.
Fuck it.
Wiping water from her eyes, Sarah was surprised to find Matthew standing by the tub.
‘Are yousureyou need this?’ he said, his green eyes fixed on hers.
She smiled, returning the cake of soap to its holder. ‘Don’t you?’
Letting his guard down, he admitted, ‘Yes, I do.’ Untying his robe, he hooked it to the back of the door and closed it. Standing there, naked and vulnerable in front of Sarah, he threw caution to the wind. ‘I’ve needed this for months.’
Sarah offered her hand and he used it to steady himself into the tub. She had seen him in various states of undress over the past few months, but this time, completely naked, he was all the more attractive.
Matthew reached forward and gently coaxed Sarah out from under the stream. The last of the water sluiced its way through her hair, over her breasts and down her limbs. He took her wet cheeks in his hands, his eyes darting across her face. His gaze mirrored that of the previous night’s almost-kiss and he gently shook his head. Bringing his lips to hers, he softly whispered, ‘Is it real this time?’
She nodded in his hold as the sensation of his lips fluttering against hers drew the strength from her knees. There was a new intent flickering behind his eyes, something very powerful, and in the moment, it burned for Sarah. Tilting her chin, he pressed his mouth to hers, hot and frantic. Far from the peck of the past, Matthew took Sarah with a determined force which caught her slightly off-guard. Their tongues quickly found a rhythm that mimicked the exploration of their hands on each other’s bodies. He pressed Sarah against the cool wet tiles and pulled away from their kiss just long enough to catch his breath.
Running his eyes over her naked body, Matthew said, ‘God, you’re beautiful.’
Her curves slipped effortlessly into his palms and his eyes traced an invisible line from her lips to her hips. Initially, the thickened skin and rippled waves across Sarah’s abdomen hadn’t registered with him. Matthew sucked in a breath as his fingers dipped between their bodies, and in the middle of their heat and closeness, he felt her scars.
The tips of Sarah’s fingers traced circles across his perfectly defined chest, making their way down his middle. Grunting expectantly, and enjoying the feel of her touch against his skin, Matthew leaned past her and turned off the water. ‘No. Not here,’ he breathed, reaching across to collect the towel Sarah had laid out for herself. He wrapped it around her shoulders and helped her out of the tub.
Matthew collected a condom from his drawer of the bathroom vanity and, leading her back into their bedroom, whispered, ‘We can do better than this.’
Matthew woke hours later and rolled over in bed. Lying beside him, Sarah, still naked, was deeply asleep. He studied her face; so peaceful, so calm. Her lips trembled slightly as she stirred, nuzzling against her pillow. The low light of their bedroom was just enough for him to make out the line of her spine, leading down the small of her back. Their sheets were pulled up over her legs and bottom and she stirred again, drawing her limbs closer to her body, trying to keep warm against the cool night air.
Ordinarily, this would be when Matthew would scoop his partner into his arms and they would sleep warm and securely together. Though he longed to do just that, he had to wonder if that level of intimacy would complicate things? Was that more intimate than the hours of sex and exploration they had enjoyed?
Slowly easing himself out of bed, he walked to her side and gently pulled the sheets to cover her. Carefully, he tucked the top of the bedding around her shoulders and teased out the locks of her hair which were caught underneath. Despite himself, he dropped to her level and gave her a tender kiss on the cheek. She didn’t register his touch.
Collecting his robe from the en suite, he put it on and made his way towards the kitchen. Crossing the living space, his eyes adjusted to the morning light which crept its way in. Sunrise wasn’t far away. Helping himself to a glass of water, he leaned against the sink, and breathed in deeply. The scent of Sarah’s perfume lingered on his skin, particularly around his neck and across his chest. Matthew closed his eyes, and images and sensations from the night flashed across his mind. The nape of her neck. The curve of her bottom in his hands. The taste of her skin.
An unexpected yearning tugged at him. A pulse. A throb.
The night’s events had ignited a desire for more, for greater passion, for more exploration. Sarah was familiar, safe and trusting. It had been an easy transition for them to make, despite his hesitations.
He turned and placed the empty glass in the trough, ready to head back to bed, but he was startled to find Sarah, still naked, standing at the kitchen door.
‘You ok?’ she asked, squinting slightly as her eyes adjusted to the light.
‘Just thirsty.’ Sarah walked over to him and wound her arms around his middle. ‘Hang on,’ he said, untying his robe, catching her inside. He wrapped it around her and they embraced underneath. The warmth of their shared nakedness set loose another throb, which didn’t go unnoticed.
