“They’re going to question you,” I tell him.
He’s still so calm. My stark opposite. “I know.”
“They could arrest you.”
“I’ll lie my way out of it. I’m good at that, remember?” I wonder if he actually believes that, or he’s just saying it for my benefit.
I shake my head, wishing his words were true but knowing that they’re not. “Not out of this you won’t.”
He finally lets my hand go and cups my cheeks in both his palms, keeping my gaze locked with his. He’s purposefully giving me tunnel vision—trying to stop me from seeing anything but him. He doesn’t know it’s unnecessary. All I see is him regardless.
“I don’t want to think about that now,” he says. “I just want to think about you.”
I don’t understand why he’s doing this. He shouldn’t be thinking about me. He should be thinking of how he can escape. He should be on a horse right now, getting as far away from here as he possibly can.
“You can still leave,” I tell him. “You can go and hide and make a new life somewhere. You need to go while you still can.”
Simon drops his hands to my hips, casually holding me like we’re debating what movie to watch in bed rather than saving his life.
“I’m a creature of habit. I like it here. Plus, I want to hear what life is like in the future.”
“How are you so calm?” I demand, gripping his arms. “Don’t you understand what’s going to happen?”
“I understand. I also understand that no matter where I go, I’ll be hunted. And I would much rather stay with you in the meantime.”
His eyes are filled with resolve. He isn’t going anywhere, despite my wishing that he would. I try to wrap my brain around it, to accept it, but I keep finding myself at blame’s doorstep.
I move my hands up to stroke along the sides of his neck, needing to feel the warmth of his skin. “I’m sorry I wasn’t more careful. Now you’re trapped here.”
“I’m not trapped, Lily. I’m exactly where I want to be.”
I shake my head. “You wouldn’t think that if you knew what I knew. About the future. About what happens.”
“You know what happens to me, then? At the end of all this?”
I nod, even though I didn’t really know about him in the future. In the future, it was supposed to be Thomas. But I guess that’s the one thing I changed. I saved Thomas and condemned Simon. He wasn’t supposed to be here, but he is now. And it’s no one’s fault but mine.
“So, all this doesn’t end well?” he asks, not seeming overly bothered either way.
“I’m pretty sure it doesn’t.”
Just saying it out loud—it feels like I’m being torn apart at the seams. Simon only smiles at me, and I don’t know how it’s possible. How can he smile through this?
“If that is true,” he says, “then I want what is left of my life to be right and good. And the only way to do that is to spend it with you.”
I let out a tearful, broken laugh. He can’t know what he’s saying.
He tilts my face up to look at him. “No matter the danger. No matter what happens. Be here with me.”
I move my hand up to his cheek, and he kisses my wrist. I drink in the feel of his mouth along my vein. I want that feeling everywhere.
He smiles at my audible intake of breath and begins walking me backward. “I can’t decide if you are more beautiful in the moonlight or in the sun.”
“I like you in the sun,” I tell him. I picture him back with me in California. He could have lived on the sea breeze. Golden and happy. We would drink together on the beach and tease each other in the waves. “I wish I could show you where I’m from.”
I feel myself hit the edge of the bed, and Simon brings his body flush against mine.
“Tell me,” he says.
