My throat instantly turns tight. I hadn’t realized just how badly I needed someone to ask me that question until I heard the words.
“It’s Lily,” I answer. Matthias smiles. He even chuckles a bit. “Why is that funny?”
He shrugs. “It just suits you, is all. You remind me of a lily of the valley.”
“It’s my mom’s favorite flower.”
Matthias chuckles again. “It’s quite poisonous, isn’t it?”
“Just a little. And only when ingested.” I move over to look at one of his tables, picking up and perusing a scroll that appears to be written in Latin.
“What was your mother like?” he asks.
I accidently squeeze the paper at his question, crinkling it along the edges before I place it back onto the table. I’ve done a good job of not thinking about my mother here, afraid I’d instantly break down. Picturing her now, it doesn’t hurt like I thought it would. Instead, I feel safe and calmer.
“She’s tall,” I tell Matthias. “Taller than most women. And she loves the ocean. She can identify seashells within ten seconds of looking at them.” I glance down at my empty hands, half expecting to find one there. “She has freckles on her nose, and all around it, too. Her hands are uncommonly soft, and no matter what she’s doing, she smells like lilacs and library books.”
I think about crying then, but sadness isn’t the only thing that can bring tears. Love can, too.
“You’re lucky you have such vivid memories,” Matthias says. “I hardly remember my mother at all.”
I’m about to ask him what he does remember about her, but he downs his drink and throws the cup into the fire. Whatever emotions he’s feeling, I want to give him the time and space to sort through them. I turn away and walk to the windows, noticing a long row of tents set up in the distance.
When I hear Matthias approaching, I ask, “What’s going on over there? By the base of that hill?”
He stands at the window a few feet away, opening it up and gazing out. “Those are the revels. Still going on, it seems.”
I move closer to the glass in front of me for a better look. “What are the revels?”
“Music, jugglers, games of chance. I lost a fair bit of coin there yesterday.” Matthias closes his window and faces me. “You wouldn’t happen to have any I could borrow, would you? My debts have been stacking up as of late.”
I look back at him with a wry stare. “I will steal every jewel in this palace and drop it on your doorstep if you help me get back home.”
“I need more time,” he says, moving deeper into the room. “I haven’t given up hope. In the meantime, look inside yourself and see if any bits of Catherine are still in there. Maybe she’s just as trapped as you are.” I look down at my stomach before cynically glancing back up. “Or if you have any theories,” he continues, “feel free to keep testing them. Not that I don’t work well under pressure, but I’m not exactly the most dependable person, so to speak.”
“Not even with the mist?” I tease.
Matthias smirks. “The mist likes to deceive me sometimes.”
I offer him a quick smile and head over to the door. My hand is reaching for the handle when I twist back around. “The king is gone for a month. I’ll check on you again in a few days.”
He makes a scrunched-up face. “You see, I’m feeling the pressure that we just talked about.”
“Oh, are you?Areyou feeling the pressure, Matthias? Show of hands, which one of us is meant to get their head chopped off in a public forum after being forced to marry a jealous erratic king?” I raise my hand. Matthias half raises his, then lowers it back down. “Look at that, just me.”
“Anne of Cleves was much nicer than you are,” he says, shifting to pour out more wine but finding it empty. “Maybe I can find a ritual to bring her back instead.”
“Whatever it takes,” I tell him.
I’ve just stepped into the hallway when Matthias walks up to the door himself. “Farewell, Your Majesty! I look forward to your next visit!”
Then he slams the door in my face.
When I get back to my sitting room, about ten ladies are engaged in reading or embroidery. I sit down next to Lady Rochford, who is nestled off to the side, absorbed with a book. I don’t say anything right away, and she’s completely at ease in the silence.
My leg is bouncing up and down. After my talk with Matthias, I’m feeling restless. I miss my family, and I need to let off steam.
“Can we get a drink?” I ask her.
