Something in her tone makes me freeze for a beat, but then I continue to embroider. “That’s nice,” I reply.
“I wonder if you would be able to assist me in a tea I’m hoping to create.”
I slowly pick my embroidery back up, but I don’t begin a new stitch. “How could I assist?” I ask.
“At present, I’m unable to acquire wild carrot seed. But as queen, I’m sure that you would be able to.”
I hold my needle in my hand, though I still haven’t used it since she sat with me. “And what do you need the carrot seed for?”
“Would you prefer an appropriate answer or the truth?”
“The truth,” I tell her.
She nods and leans in the smallest degree closer. “I was married very young, you see. And my husband was quite eager to beget an heir. Praise be to God, we were granted my son. A healthy, strong baby boy. But while he thrived, I did not. The birthing was incredibly difficult for me, and the doctors believed that having any more children would be impossible.”
“I’m so sorry.” No sooner do I get the words out than she immediately brushes me off.
“What are you sorry for? It’s all just a part of life.” I see her sweeping her trauma aside and under the rug like unsavory dust, because that seems to be the only thing done in this century.
“Miraculously, we went on to have four more children, and each birthing has been more painful than the last. My husband hopes for more children still, but...” She pauses. “But I feel quite certain that if I’m to go through another, I will not survive it.”
I take in a quiet breath at her words, still not positive where this is going.
“Wild carrot seed would protect me, as it would protect other ladies in your court who bear a plight similar to mine. Will you help us?”
I see the fear behind her serene eyes. She wants something preventative. Something to protect her from becoming with child.
“Of course I will,” I tell her. “You have my word.”
Lady Barrow takes a shaky breath and straightens the handkerchief in her lap.
“I am most thankful,” she replies. She goes to stand, but I catch her wrist, stopping her before she can leave.
“Can I ask you something?” She pauses and sits back down. “Why are you trusting me with this? How do you know I won’t tell other people what you asked me to do?”
She looks at me before quietly responding. “Lady Rochford believes you trustworthy, and my cousin Bessie is a bit unusual but a good judge of character.” I watch as her defenses momentarily crumble, a small smile once again pulling at her cheeks. “But more than that, if something is going to befall me, I want it to be done by my choice, rather than my inaction.”
I don’t ask her anything else. She takes her embroidery and calmly walks away. I’ll have to ask Lady Rochford about the carrot seed and how I can go about getting it. If it does the job that Lady Barrow thinks it does, maybe I’ll try some of her tea, too. Just in case.
I’m replaying our surprisingly frank conversation in my mind when there’s a knock at the door. One of the guards on the outside opens it, and Simon walks inside.
I hate how I innately respond to seeing him. My heart rate jumps. My chest grows tight. I’ve been attracted to people before, but this feeling, this strange high that he sparks... I don’t know what to do with it.
He looks around at the room filled with women, straightening his back as his eyes focus on me.
“Forgive my intrusion,” he murmurs, “but I have a message from His Majesty. He wishes to see the queen immediately.”
Lady Rochford springs into action and gets up from her chair before I can even move. “I will come with you,” she says.
She’s already set her embroidery down when I put up an arm to stop her. “It’s fine. I’ll be right back.”
She looks at me in a curious way before sitting back down. “Yes, Your Majesty.”
I give her a reassuring smile before walking to the door. Simon turns when I approach, and we leave the room side by side.
Our commute to the king’s room is a quiet one. At least, it is for us. We pass plenty of people, and everyone bows or curtsies as I walk past. It’s unsettling. It isn’t until we’re well out of the queen’s rooms that Simon eventually speaks.
“Are you all right?” he asks.
