“She did get your letter,” I offer without thinking. I immediately regret it as Paul’s face falls. The moment nearly spins away from me as I think of Juliette next—how I had no right to tell him that. All the events of today suddenly feel like a massive betrayal, and I want to get up and run away as far and as fast as my legs will carry me. “I shouldn’t have said anything,” I mutter. “I’m so sorry about this. About all of it.”
“No, I’m glad I know,” Paul says quietly. “Well, there you have it.”
“We should probably go, Liam. I think we’ve taken up enough of Mr. Davenport’s time. I’m so sorry again that I barged in like this.” I swiftly get up, nearly knocking over the cider I never drank, and Liam rushes to stand up, too.
“Wait,” Paul says. He looks around and grabs a paper napkin from the center of the table, then picks up a pen that’s set beside his book. He begins writing directly onto the napkin. Liam looks at me and I look at my feet, mentally being the judge and jury to every decision I’ve made the last few hours and finding myself guilty, guilty, guilty. A full minute passes until Paul clicks the pen closed and folds the napkin in half, holding it out. “Will you give this to Juliette for me?”
I know I should reach out and take it, but my arms somehow feel like they’re weighted down beside me. “I don’t know,” I say.
“Please. It would mean so much to me if you would give it to her.”
His face is solemn, but his eyes plead with mine. Scared and ashamed as I now am, I remind myself that this was my idea. There’s no turning back now.
“Okay,” I say, forcing myself to lift my arm and take the napkin. I then safely tuck it into the inside pocket of my bag.
“Thank you,” Paul says. “And thank you for coming here.”
“You’re welcome,” I offer weakly.
“I probably shouldn’t have told you as much as I did. Juliette won’t like it, but it was so nice talking about her again after so long. I haven’t, you know. Not for a long time.”
I’m not sure what else to say, so I quickly pivot and begin to head to the car. I only make it a step when Paul calls out again.
“Winnie?” I hear him ask. I reluctantly shift back around to face him. “Has she been happy? All these years...has she been happy?”
I try to think of what Juliette would want me to say. Would she want me to tell Paul that her life has been a dream? That she’s completely satisfied and wants for nothing? Or would she want me to tell him the truth?
“She has been happy,” I decide to say. “No one’s life is perfect, but for the most part, I think she’s been very happy.”
Right answer or wrong, I don’t stay to find out. I whip back around, and Ollie and I stride directly to the car. I can hear Liam rushing to catch up with us, but I still beat him to the door, desperate to leave this place and my suffocating guilt behind before it swallows me whole.
19
When Liam and I get back to the studio, we take Ollie for a walk, which seems to wear him out. I put down some food for him, and he all but inhales it before settling into his beloved pile of pillows by the window, his face once again turned towards the sun. Liam and I sit down across from each other at the inconceivably small kitchen table. Our ride home was quiet and contemplative, and so was our walk, both of us absorbing today’s revelations.
I’m the first to speak, eventually looking up from the table’s mahogany surface. “Did I just do something truly horrible?” I ask.
Liam’s eyes are empathetic and gentle. “You were only trying to do the right thing. It was a risk, but it was bold, too.”
“I shouldn’t have put myself in the middle of that. Now I have to deliver this note to Juliette, and she’ll probably despise me. I don’t know what I was thinking by pulling this stunt. The London altitude has finally gotten to me.”
“The topography in London is actually very flat compared to other big cities.”
“That’s not helpful.”
“Right, sorry.”
“I should have listened to you,” I groan. “You described me to a T—I’m the impulsive cowboy in a bad western, and do you know what happens to those characters? They die. They lie bleeding in the street and deliver a pithy but profound line with their last breath, and then they die. The townspeople are sad for, like, two seconds until the primary characters move on and enjoy their happily-ever-after.”
“Now, I have to take argument with that. You are, without doubt, the main cowboy who gets the girl in the end and becomes the unlikely sheriff. You never thought you were meant for a small town, but you find both acceptance and peace in your new life.”
“You’re just saying that to keep me from freaking out,” I mutter, once again staring down at the table.
“I’m not. Yes, what you did today may give my aunt initial, temporary discomfort, but in the long run, I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.”
“Yeah, I’m the employee of the month, aren’t I? Here I agreed to help Juliette with a project to reinvent her writing, and then I lied about it for nearly the entire time. I slept with her nephew, who she explicitly told me to stay away from, and then I dug into her painful, private past love life and resurrected the ghost of her long-lost love. But no, I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.”
Liam just looks at me for a few seconds before venturing to speak again. “I suppose there’s nothing I can say right now that will make you feel better?”
