“That doesn’t necessarily make them good. Not for me, anyways. Also, I don’t think I want to have children.”
Kaboom.I’ve dropped my biggest red flag of all.
“Really?” Liam asks, surprised.
“I’ve just seen so many of my friends go off and have babies, and they always seem to lose themselves after. Not in a bad way, but they’re just different. And with the career I want, I don’t know if having a family is a realistic goal. Working in the arts is very consuming and draining, and the hours can be erratic. I don’t know how I could balance that with having a child or children. Would it be fair to them or me? Because if I have them, I know I’ll love them, and I’ll want to give them everything and all of me, and that would mean surrendering my dreams, and I don’t want to do that. I shouldn’t have to.”
“It doesn’t have to be like that, though. Having a family isn’t necessarily one-size-fits-all.”
“That’s what it seems like. Obviously, I might change my mind down the road, but as of now I can’t guarantee that it’s in the cards for me. Understandably, that can be a deal breaker for some people.”
Liam doesn’t say much, or anything at all after that, only nods, and I’m left wondering exactly what his silence means.
“Okay,” I then go on, eager to keep things moving. “Your turn. Tell the truth and admit to your hidden freaky-deaky nature.”
Liam sits up straight and rubs his hands together, wiping away any loose crumbs. “Where to begin. Alright, well, like you, I can be very focused on my work.” I give him a doubtful look, and he shrugs. “Perhaps not at this current juncture in my life, but typically, I am very career-oriented. Another thing, I like routines. Going on my latest trip to Italy was the most spontaneous decision I ever made, and even then, I didn’t do a terrible lot while I was there.”
“No noteworthy holiday flings?” I ask.
“I thought I might, but it turns out we’re better off as friends.”
“What was she like?”
“She was funny, nice, fairly introverted. She’s a romance author.”
“Fun! I want to be friends with a romance author.”
“Maybe you’ll meet her someday,” he says. “She lives in New York, too.”
“Good, then maybe she can spill the tea and tell me all your dirty secrets, because thus far, your red flags are all very tame. You need to dig deeper.”
“Dig deeper. Well, another thing, I’m a fairly recent divorcé. Not too recent, though. About a year ago.”
“Oh,” I reply, caught a little off guard. “Going to be honest, I did not see that one coming.”
“Yes, I suppose I was saving my big reveal for the finale.”
A few sensations course through me at the thought of Liam being previously married. Surprise, bewilderment, and, most prominently, jealousy. And it’s that sharp, possessive pinch that’s the most disconcerting feeling of all.
“So, what happened there? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“What happened,” Liam repeats with a sigh. “I’d like to say it was complicated, but in retrospect, it really wasn’t at all.”
I put my sandwich down on its paper wrapping, dust off my hands and give him my undivided attention.
“I met my ex-wife five years ago. We got on very well. She was completely out of my league, but somehow didn’t notice. Our relationship progressed as one typically does. We dated and eventually moved in together. My business was growing, and things were great between us—everything seemed to be lining up, so I proposed, and we got married. We honeymooned in Italy, which eventually led to my rather morbid trip back there last year. Things were good for a while, or at least in my eyes they were. My company was at its peak, so I was putting in long hours quite often. I thought I was balancing things semi-successfully, but then, apparently, I wasn’t.
“She would try to plan time for us, but I would be stuck at work, or I’d be too tired. When we did go out, I was usually answering emails or was on my phone. Looking back, I see how she tried. She did what she could, but I just didn’t meet her halfway.”
Even I have to sigh as I take that all in. “That really stinks. And it’s odd, because as a single woman, I’m definitely into you, but as a storyteller, I’m kind of hoping you guys work things out and get back together.”
Liam shakes his head with a little grin. “We clashed over her work, too. She’s an interior designer. At first it was nice, because our flat looked like something out of a magazine. But, as I’m sure you know, a huge part of business is now based on social media. So she started posting videos and photos of our place and soon after about her life in general. She always wanted me to be part of them, but I was terribly awkward. And when I looked at the comments of the pictures or videos Iwasin, what I read was far from favorable. Lily would obviously delete the ones that were downright cruel, but I almost always saw them first.”
Liam looks down, forcing a smile, and it sets off a certain stab in my gut that I immediately identify as slowly simmering rage. I have been a complete and utter pacifist for my entire life but, no joke, I want to go and find everyone who ever cyberbullied Liam and karate chop them in the face.
“After all that, I started to pull away—wanting no part of her online presence, which in turn made her resentful towards me because that was becoming such an important aspect of her career. The end of our marriage was really just a perfect storm of issues. And by the time I realized, it was too late. When she wanted to fix things, I wasn’t there. And when I wanted to fix things, she was emotionally too far gone. And that was that.”
With his story finished, I just look at Liam for a few seconds in silence.
