“And I’m guessing you’re not excited about it?”
As if he’s reading my emotions, Ollie gets up from his bed and snuggles against my ankles. I unconsciously reach down and nestle him onto my lap.
“It’s just affecting me more than I thought it would. I understand his reasons for selling, and I really am hardly ever there. But I guess I never imagined that someday a time would come when I couldn’t go home.” Roshni nods, and I stroke Ollie’s fur in calming strokes.
“I know I’m probably being overdramatic, but it just feels wrong that strangers are going to be living where my mom lived. I get that it’s just a house, but with her being gone, it feels like more than that. Like it’s one of the only things that still ties me to her.”
Roshni looks at me empathetically, seemingly understanding the conflicting feelings that are swirling through me. She goes to speak when Juliette suddenly jumps in.
“I’m sorry,” she says from her spot on the armchair. “I know this will probably come off as insensitive, but I just had a really tough time at rehearsal, and I don’t think I can handle any more doom and gloom today.”
The room falls silent, and Roshni and I stare at Juliette after sending mutually confused looks to each other. I wait another few seconds for Juliette to announce that she’s kidding, or something along those lines, but she doesn’t.
“Okay,” I eventually get myself to say, “sorry about that.”
“I’m sorry, too. I’ve just had a very draining morning and am dealing with a lot. Plus, you need to get in a more positive headspace since you’re going on your day-date with British Boyfriend #3 tomorrow. He’s the painter who also dabbles in stand-up comedy. I have a good feeling about him.”
Roshni continues to look at Juliette, still stunned silent by her tone-deaf response. I nod my head and try to regroup as quickly as possible.
“Me too. It can only go up from here, right?”
“Exactly,” Juliette agrees, taking one sip of her tea and then leaving it beside the coaster on the coffee table. “Okay, so I’m going to go unwind for a bit. We’ll all order in for dinner tonight, okay? My treat.”
“Sounds great,” I say with a smile.
Juliette grins, stepping over to give Ollie a doting pet before she exits. She’s gone for less than ten seconds when Roshni whips around to face me on the couch.
“Excuse me, what in the hot hell just happened?” she seethes.
“It’s fine,” I tell her.
“Um, it is most certainly not fine. You were just having an emotional moment and Juliette completely invalidated you.”
“It’s not a big deal. She’s my boss, and I was talking about personal stuff that has nothing to do with my job.”
“Yeah, and you going out with strangers has nothing to do with your job either, yet here we are. She’s cool with crossing personal boundaries but only when it suits her. Remember that.”
I stretch my neck from side to side, and Roshni stands. “And now I’m going to reread the play in anger. Maybe some of the passages will hit differently.”
She picks up her script and the book of monologues that I gave her and disappears down the hallway. I have to smile despite myself, still endlessly grateful that she’s here with us for the summer. It feels good to have a friend at work. Of course, Juliette is my friend, too, but not in the same way.
I’m not going to lie. Juliette’s response hurt. I live for the vulnerable moments she has with me, but clearly the feelings are not mutual. Her response stung, my dad’s news sucks, and I suddenly feel so tired that the last thing I want to do is meet up with some guy I don’t know tomorrow, a guy who just happens to be available for a day-date during the workweek.
I think again about Juliette’s reaction. How she made the situation about her, because that’s what she does. She looks out for number one and does what she wants to make herself feel better. Sure, it’s self-centered, but it’s also self-preservation, and maybe I should try that out for myself for once.
Before I lose my nerve, I pull out my phone, swiftly sending out an apology text to British Boyfriend #3 and canceling our meetup. I then draft a new message to Liam. I’m surprised at how easily I do it, sitting back on the couch with Ollie as I hit the Send button and await a response.
I’m sorry, Juliette.I think to myself.But I know you would do the same if you were me.
8
I find Liam at our designated meeting spot on Kensington High Street, just outside Kensington Gardens. Cars zip past near where he’s waiting at the crosswalk, the sounds somehow blending easily with the birds chirping and dogs barking in the lush green space behind us.
“Well, hello,” I say.
“Hello there. I’m glad you changed your mind.” He’s wearing jeans and a gray zip-up jacket, and he seems a little unsure of what to do next. “Sorry, I’m just wondering if I should hug you or go for a casual cheek kiss. Wouldn’t it be great if there was only one socially acceptable way to greet people? Then we could all relax, and I wouldn’t have to long for death each time my awkward handshake is forced to morph into an even more awkward high five.”
“But then you wouldn’t be able to talk about how much you hate saying hello and in doing so, drag the experience out even longer and more painfully.”
