“It’s not just that. How can I be with Ryan when he and I were the reason for what happened with my dad?”
“What are you talking about?” Maggie’s voice is peppered with confusion. “You and Ryan didn’t cause anything with your dad. That was just bad timing.”
I shake my head. I shouldn’t have brought that part up. That’s just for me.
“Never mind that bit. I just don’t think Ryan sees me that way.”
“Yes, he does see you that way, and I know for a fact that you can get him back with minimal effort. People will wait in line at the DMV for a substantially longer time than it will take for you to rekindle this romance.”
I take a big sip of my coffee, tulip or no tulip.
“Straight men want women, Kara. It’s as simple as that. It doesn’t matter if it’s their wife, a girlfriend, an ex-girlfriend or the friendly but eccentric band geek from their senior year music composition class.”
“That last description feels very specific to you.”
“It was. Kurt Wyatt and I went on to have many a tryst in the instrument storage closet. I still think about those days fondly.” She gazes off into the distance for a bit until I clear my throat and she focuses on our conversation. “So yes, all I’m saying is that if a guy sees a woman and he’s attracted to her, then he wants her. And if he’s single, he’ll go after her if she even slightly alludes to the fact that she wants him, too.”
“But I don’t want Ryan just to want me.”
“Then what do you want?”
I take a second to think about it. “I don’t know. I want more than that.”
“You want more, meaning you want him to love you again.”
I don’t correct her. I don’t tell her no. I should. I need to.
“You do,” she affirms. “You want him to love you again.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You don’t have to. What is it about him that’s so special anyways? I’ve never seen you this wound up over a guy before.”
“I don’t know.” I find myself glancing around the café, feeling like I shouldn’t be talking about this and, more importantly, that I shouldn’t be having these feelings at all. “He’s just different. He’s nice and he’s absurdly great with Duke. He’s weird but in a quirky, interesting way. He thinks I’m funny, so I let my guard down with him. I consider myself a happily boring person, but to him, I’m exciting. I just like seeing myself the way he sees me, I guess.”
I stop there as Maggie looks over at me as if two huge cartoon hearts are bulging out of her eye sockets.
“You are going to marry him,” she says. “You’re going to marry him or you’re going to have mind-blowing, bodice-ripping, otherworldly sex with him and I’m entirely okay with either option.”
My cheeks streak red and the skin on my neck starts to itch. “This whole conversation is ridiculous and I’m pretty sure it’s giving me hives. Falling back into something with Ryan is the last thing I should be doing right now.”
“No, it’s not,” Maggie argues. “You like this guy and you deserve to feel wanted and I’m going to help you. Making a man fall in love with you is the same as making him want you, just with a couple of extra steps. And it will be even easier for you because Ryan already loved you once so all we have to do is make him love you again. It’s like renewing a library book. You love library books.”
“I do love library books, but what about the fact that I’m going to Italy in less than a week? Isn’t it selfish for me to pursue this when I’m about to leave?”
“It is in no way selfish. Just because there isn’t a picture-perfect future cemented in place doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t go after what you want.”
Her argument is sound. But then again, she’s saying what an ashamed part of me wants to hear.
“First things first. You have to make Ryan want you, but that shouldn’t be a problem since you guys have already been together. By the way, whatwas this troublemaker like in bed?”
I push my chair back to distance myself from the table. “Yeah, I changed my mind, I’m not doing this.”
“Will you relax? I’m not telling you to throw him to the floor and bang him into oblivion—though I do think that’s a good option. What I mean is, you have to get him thinking about you in that kind of light again. Plant the seeds, so to speak.”
“And how do you suggest I plant the seeds?”
“Are you seriously asking me that? You’re bestselling romance novelist Kara Sullivan! You should be a lust-game master. How do the people get together in your novels? Do you use any sort of formula?”
