A few months later, my father and I were able to erect a stone. It reads:
DELILAH SHAW
LAVINA SHAW
OVID SHAW
NOV. 25, 1925
OCT. 9, 1921
SEPT. 26, 1878
SEPT. 29, 1953
MAR. 31, 1955
FEB. 13, 1950
Mom, I found you
Despite everything Lavina had been through, she had thought to keep a space for her son for eternity, a fact that moved my dad immensely. In the end, even though my father had been given so little to work with, he still managed to create so much.
My dad was nothing short of a miracle.
The key to life is forgiveness. My father had to learn to forgive his parents, just as I had learned to forgive mine, just as I pray Sadie will one day forgive me for my failings.
It’s all we’ve got.
After my father’s death in 2025, I had to come to terms with the fact that he didn’t leaveme. He didn’t even leave mymom. He left abusiness—the music business, which might’ve been killing him—for something simpler, something in nature, something beautiful, and focused instead on simplicity and gardening and mountains and beaches. That’s what Big Sur, and eventually up in the north of California, was for him. This I can understand. So, I love you, Dad, and I’m glad I got to have you for as long as I did.
SEVENTEEN
DEAD TO ME
