70 DAYS PAST MY ARRIVAL INCROTON
As the solstice draws near, my mind becomes preoccupied with one thought. He has told me that, although He has accepted me into His school, there are levels of initiation. In order to progress, He has said that, on the fifth day unto the solstice, I must travel into the deepest caverns of Midi and stay for sixteen days. I have heard tales from the others, mere whisperings of this place. A stillness like no other, a darkness that forces you to wander into the depths of the mind. I fear … I am ashamed to admit it, but I fear that in sixteen days of traversing the depths of my mind, I may lose myself entirely. But for me to delve further into my studies, it is necessary, and so it must be done.
c. 4 iota 16 - Recipe for a bloated bowel
One must praise Him in all that we do. Do not cut fire with a sword. For relief of a bloated bowel, it is necessary to travel thrice around a wood surrounding a bank, dip thy feet into the source, and say the words of the Three’s incantation, which is found in c. iota 4.[Translator’s note: Not found]
FIVE DAYS UNTIL THE SOLSTICE
I will enter the caverns at sundown, for it takes some time to reach the center, and will stay for sixteen days and nights. I fear that I may lose my mind in the depths, though He teaches that there is only One we will find there. I can only pray that He is right.
How silly my old fears seem now, how foolish I was for doubting Him and His teachings!
He was right, for if I had interpreted the symbols all at once, my brain may have been summarily overwhelmed by the knowledge transferred to me. I now know they are not meant to be read simply from left to right, nor from right to left. Each relays a vast amount of knowledge that is meant to be combined, intermingled, transposed, jumbled in every order, in whatever order one’s imagination supposes, to derive the maximum transference of information.
How many doors I feel have been opened to me! For these symbols are the whisperings of knowledge hidden to me, now revealed.
Note (Cella): Though S seems to have learned the meanings of the symbols, it appears that his last attempts at decoding them took place before he entered the caves. If I were to guess, I would say that now that he has acquired whatever knowledge he found, he no longer feels a need to decode the symbols for anyone else—with the exception of one symbol. The very first in the book. The circle with a ten-dot triangle inside it.
I recognize it as the symbol in Dani’s notebooks, the symbol inked on the bull skulls over the campus dormitories. The symbol that inspired in me the same feelings when I listened for the book in Basile’s office as when I look at Dani. The feelings that are so very strange to me, yet somehow, inexplicably familiar.
I shall decode starting with the first, which is thus.
There is a presence here, not a man nor a god, not angel nor demon. I feel its coils wrap around me like a vine, drawing the strength from me, while beckoning me ever closer. It has a will of its own, that I know for certain, though I don’t know if I would call it alive. My master says there are many names for it, in many different tongues, for it has existed long before man arrived on this earth.
It is what this symbol represents. It is what found me in the caverns of Midi.
We call itMagia.It is that which encapsulates all else. It is the One.
[Translator’s note: Magic. This term was derived from the Greekmageia, transcribed here to the Latinmagia. I kept it as the Latinmagiahere because I believe it likely that the true meaning of what S was trying to convey may have been lost to the centuries as the term “Magic” evolved. Whatever it once was, it meant something far greater than what we consider “Magic” today. A presence, not man nor god, but more powerful than either.]
In this text, I will relay the incantations, the recipes, the supplications, which I have learned both from the symbols and Him. Spells for luck, health, for an illsitting bowel, for a fever of the head, for a depressed wife, for urges unbecoming of a man loyal to his wife. To know which herbs may improve the taste of a goat’s milk, to make larger the eggs laid by fowl, to increase the bounty of the sea, to make sweeter the grapes and fruit of the trees. To beseech his friends. To quiet his enemies. I have learned much in my workings with Him and the One. I admit, sometimes I am afraid of these things I can do. I know I am not the only initiate who feels this way. He tells us it is only once you lose something that you may find another.
Note (Cella): After this point, I have a difficult time understanding the text. There are a few recipes and incantations that I am able to wade through, though save for a few writings here and there, the rest is essentially gibberish. It seems as if as time continues on and S becomes more entrenched in the school, the writings become more dense and unwieldy, written by someone who either enjoys being particularly long-winded or someone who is slowly losing their mind. I admit, I am frustrated because here it is—I was convinced if I could just make sense of these pages, then we’d know what to do about Dani. But I can’t for the life of me make sense of it, and it makes me want to scream.
One passage, for example, utter nonsense, starts with: “One thing one may do which seems profitable and tactful at times, though only certain times willing and only with an apt subject, or in this case another which has the same knowledge to do, holds a writing penned on parchment, tablet, or glass, and holds the words under water, moving water or stream is best, and under the full bright Moon, and the ink will be of sufficient to stay and not bleed in the water, can reflect the knowledge therein to a man whose hands are in that same stream, no matter the distance between them,” before veering off into another nonsensical statement.
I should have expected this. Many of the earliest alchemists and Magicians obfuscated their work in this way, not only to hide it from those who might persecute them for what they might view asgoeteiaor another unsavory form of Magic, but also to disguise it from those they felt were undeserving of the knowledge. Shrouding it in coded and complex language was a way to guarantee it would only be understood by initiates or other expert Magicians.
A little more of what I am able to make out is transcribed below.
The order tonight has, at Melophorus’s urging, swayed public opinion in the election. There has been much uproar as a result, and I cannot help the anger in my heart, for I urged him not do those writings. I fear public opinion will vastly sway against our favor as a result of our interference, but I suppose I have little choice in the matter. We are all rational men, and I just have to hope that logic and sense will win out in the end.
[Translator’s Note: I cannot make this out. My best guess is this next entry takes place two months later, amid frantic scribblings.]
They have burned our headquarters. Infiltrated our ceremonial rooms and most precious spaces. Burned our writings. I watched with my own eyes as they ran Melophorus through with a long sword, his mouth falling open, a look of shock and pain printed in his eyes, which will be seared in mine for all my days. So now, we are running. I have escaped through an underground tunnel out of the city. We have all broken up, it is only through the grace of my uncle that I was able to get out at all.
Note (Cella): There were a few like these off and on throughout the year, and a pervading sense of ragged paranoia by S that he will be found. He moves back to Babylon and creates a new society with even more cryptic motives, praying to a mysterious god for fear of being found out. But few join, and eventually the movement fizzles out when the Roman army intercedes.
There is one last entry prior to what I believe was S’s untimely end due to a poison, which he denotes the recipe for. “In aide of pains to the head.” It includes nightshade.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Max and I decided that, rather than reading over each other’s shoulders, I would take the book first, while he continued scouring the forum for anything that might help. He sat with me all night until he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. “You should get some sleep, too, Cel,” he said. “We can take a look at it in the morning.”
I nodded, barely taking notice of him, and continued reading.
The more I studied the book, the more frustrated I grew, but also the more I found to like about it. The author, S, was unfailingly honest and open in his accounts, spilling his innermost feelings and thoughts. How it made him feel small and unimportant when another initiate dismissed his findings, how sometimes he wasn’t quite sure what he was doing in the world. It was refreshing to see someone speak his mind so openly, to bear his soul in an account to be read by a complete stranger thousands of years later.*
