“How’s that going?”
“Could be better,” he said, looking down and scuffing his boot on the ground. Didn’t want to talk about it, then. I continued brushing.
“Everything feels like it’s kind of just … closing in, you know? You ever feel like that?”
I sighed. “All the time.”
He looked down at me from beneath his hat, the sapphire glint coming back into his eye, if only for a second. His boot slid closer, sole scraping against the wet pavement after he’d hosed it down. He was so close I could see the sunburn on the back of his neck, the tan line beneath his shirt. “You know, I’m glad you’re here.”
That night, in his truck, he’d whispered promises in between kisses. “I know you’re afraid, that you think I’ll hurt you. I promise you, I won’t. I won’t.” He’d whispered it into my ear all night. “I’ll never hurt you, Cella.” He breathed it into my neck, into my hair, into my heart.
All of a sudden that familiar pounding hit my chest. The feeling that reminds me to run, to get the hell out of here, to not let him get any closer. And a familiar voice, from a conversation years ago.
What are you so afraid of?
“Everything,” I’d wanted to tell him, “everything.”
Now I swallowed, his face drawing closer, the warm scent of him filling the space between us.
“I think I should go to the Phi Kat party tonight,” I blurted.
He stopped inches before my face, still staring at my lips. “What?”
I glanced down at my phone, the blinking notification still at the top of my screen. The text from Basile I’d yet to answer.
Still coming tonight?
I’d felt so bad after our conversation, like the light of the sun had left me, that I sought him out to clear the air. He’d taken the whole thing gracefully and offhandedly had mentioned a party tonight.
“You should come. Meet the guys,” he’d said.
I took a deep breath. “There’s a party tonight at the Phi Kat house, and I think it’s the perfect opportunity to dig more into Grant. We need more information, and what better way to get it than at a house party with all his friends? Maybe I could even sneak into his room, do some real recon.”
Any trace of a smile dropped from Max’s face. “He threatened you. He drugged Joselyn Hart. The guy is dangerous. And I don’t think going to a creepy rapist frat party is the right move.”
“We need information, and we’re running out of time. You saw the bloodstains at Maritza’s. Dani’s running out of time, and I won’t abandon her, Max. I can’t.”
And while that part was true, that it was a way to get more information about the frat—it was also a way to smooth the waters with Basile. Because, despite the nagging warning in the back of my mind, I couldn’t just give up on this, on the Reality Paradox, on the promise of everything he could teach me. I didn’t know how exactly it worked, but he’d proposed theorems of how to reach this new world, and the promise of it, the idea of this … this untapped knowledge was too enticing to give up. For me, it was so much more than some theory. It was everything I loved about Magic, about discovery. It was an opportunity, a place where maybe I hadn’t missed it all, where I hadn’t fucked up so badly. A place where … where maybe Aaron was still alive.
And I saw it then in Max’s eyes, the look of defeat. I wasn’t going to back down, and he knew it. He exhaled a giant sigh. “Alright. But I’m coming with you.”
“Sorry, but no, you aren’t. I won’t find out anything if you’re tagging along after me like a bodyguard.”
“You’re joking, right? What if something goes wrong? If Grant corners you or finds you poking around and decides he doesn’t like it?”
I put my hand on his, watched as he mollified. “They won’t touch me. If it were me and I’d done something wrong, I’d be on my very best behavior. Maybe I’d … maybe I’d be so focused on that that I wouldn’t remember the things I forgot to clean up.
“Besides, I’m stronger than them, and they know it. Even stronger with …”—I faltered—“with you here.”
He smirked. “How hard was that for you to say?”
“I’ll be fine, okay? I’ll text you in the morning and let you know what I find.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets and squirmed. “Just don’t get too close to anyone. And don’t let anyone near your drink, for God’s sake.”
I quirked an eyebrow. “Careful, you don’t want Julia hearing you express concern for your ex.” I made a shocked gesture. “Scandalous!”
He laughed at that, and I let myself out the way I’d come in.
