I tend to fade into the background. My dark hair and eyes give me a subtle, ordinary appearance that draws little attention. According to my grandmother, I inherited my looks from my egg donor. But since I've never met her, I don’t know how much of that is true.While I'm attractive, you actually have to take me in to see it. Going sans makeup and not wearing anything flashy or eye-catching only emphasizes how unremarkable I am—just another person in the crowd.
When I'm with Jaxson, his vibrant personality takes center stage, leaving no room for anyone else anyway. He's outgoing, boisterous, and commands attention from everyone around him. In contrast, I'm more reserved and content to let him bask in the spotlight. No matter where we are, I dim in his shadow. Others see only him, and usually, I'm okay with that as his counterbalance, the yin to his yang. But now, I feel bereft, alone, and lost.
Another factor that has helped me maintain some semblance of anonymity is that I kept my maiden name when Jaxson and I married. I started my skating career at sixteen under the name Amelia Smith when I went to the Olympics. The skating and hockey worlds still know me as the daughter of the famous pro hockey player, Gord Smith. After Jaxson and I married, keeping my name seemed easier and necessary for my career.
Throughout high school, Jaxson was an elite hockey player, outperforming his peers. Our team won the OFSSA championship in his senior year at seventeen. After graduation, he moved on to the Ontario HockeyLeague (OHL), where his team won the league title, and he was named the CHL Player of the Year.
From there, it only fast-tracked him to being drafted into the NHL and winning the Calder Memorial Trophy for Best Rookie in his first year.
I won nearly every championship and competition I entered, at both the national and international levels. My list of accomplishments includes several gold, silver, and bronze medals, as well as the Canadian Skater of the Year award.
My career path led me to the Winter Olympics in Beijing, where I was on track to win gold in figure skating until I injured my ankle and had to withdraw.
Both of us were making a name for ourselves, and that was when he changed. It was as if my career no longer mattered. When he wanted to be the sole breadwinner, he said he needed to take care of me. At the time, I was flattered to be so special. I wanted to start planning a family, but he quickly shot that down. I was left in the proverbial dust.
The week after Jaxson implemented our open marriage agreement, he emailed me an NDA to sign before a notary. It included a brief note explaining that all the other players use this form and that it would protect our privacy by keeping our extra-maritalactivities confidential. That feels like another layer of betrayal, almost as if he's trying to control me.
Where's mutual trust and understanding?
Why would I want to share the destruction of our relationship with anyone?
It's tearing me apart, and my love for him is suffering. I don't like this intrusion in our marriage. The pain feels like my heart's cracked open, and I can sense my love for him slipping away.
But I'm insignificant. I'm not the one prioritized in this relationship.
I suppose that would be Jaxson, if I'm honest.
So why shouldn't I take advantage of this opportunity and enjoy a night out with friends? I may be opposed to the idea of an open marriage, but it's at least given me the chance to spend more time with Nita and Shelly. Plus, I've decided to use this freedom to pursue my dreams and return to the competitive skating circuit.
Jaxson left me to my own devices, so why not be a rebel and prioritize myself?
I giggle nervously, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter as I pull into the crowded parking lot. The bass pulses, rumbling over me. It nearly drowns out the clinking of glasses and high-pitched buzz of laughter coming from inside. A thrill of excitement washes overme, quickening my pulse and making me tingle in a way that has nothing to do with nerves.
This is really happening.
The Iron Pier is one of the larger clubs in the area, yet it still retains a nostalgic air. With its rich history at the Waterfront, the club evokes the past. Although it has been reinforced and modernized, the exposed brick has developed a soft sheen in places. The manual cranes used to haul freight to and from the ships, with their ropes and pulley systems, remain visible above the dance floor. Edison-bulb lighting gives the space a romantic yet timeless vibe.
The first floor features a bar that spans two sides of the building, while tables and booths surround a raised dance floor. The steps leading to the VIP level are the original ones that once ascended to the offices above. Everything feels spacious and inviting, offering a unique openness that sets it apart from other clubs.
Since I reserved a spot in the VIP Lounge, which runs along all four walls and overlooks the dance floor, they escort us there as soon as we arrive. After we're seated on the plush bench, the waitress takes our order.
The dance floor is crowded with bodies swaying to a popular song. Watching from here is fun because you can see everything that's going on below.
“Come on, girls,” Shelly shouts over the music, “let's go dance!”
“You girls go ahead. I'll keep an eye on our drinks when they arrive,” I offer, making excuses. Being an introvert, I need a moment to adjust to all the stimuli before I can get out there and dance. “We'll take turns, so nothing gets tampered with.”
“Okay,” Nita says, her brow furrowed in concern. “Are you sure?”
I nod, holding up my hand to stop her from worrying. “I need to take this slow, you know?”
“Yeah, I gotcha, girlfriend,” she replies with a sad smile. “I'm right here when you're ready.”
I return her smile. “You're the best.” I mouth as they walk off.
The waitress arrives a moment later and sets our drinks down. She points to the small silicone covers on each glass.
"That's for your protection. We put it on all first rounds so that no one can slip anything into your drink. It's reusable, you can take it with you."
