Chapter 16 – Frozen Out
Checked and Benched
Christmas Day
Amelia
I lean against the bedroom door after shutting it. I really want to come clean with Bash, but now isn't the time. I should've taken a moment to talk it out with him last night when I told him about my dad. But I didn't want to spoil the mood by mentioning Jaxson.
Avoidance is my middle name these days. I push away thoughts of my husband and the state of our marriage because facing the truth is too painful.
My phone pings on the nightstand, signaling a new message. I walk over and pick it up. It's Nita.
Nita:Whatever you do, don't check any news right now.
Me:Wait… what? Why?
Nita: Just… don't. Okay? I want you to have a fun Christmas with Bash, free from stress and social media. Maybe try a device-free day.
Me:Now you've got me worried. What's going on?
Nita:I promise I'm not trying to be dramatic. I don't want to ruin your Christmas or upset you.
Me:Please just tell me. I'll be a wreck if you don't.
Nita:Okay, fine. But remember, I only wanted to shield you for a bit. Don't say I didn't warn you.
She forwards a link that I immediately click on and regret it.
Should've listened to Nita.
A news article flashes across the screen reporting Jaxson's sexcapade on a hotel balcony this morning with two women. The headline reads:Shocking Video: NHL Star Kingston's Hotel Trysts Ignite Outrage and Rumors of Marriage in Trouble.
Below the headline, a blurred thumbnail shows a balcony with three shadowed figures, clearly censored. A bold warning covers it:Explicit Content. Click to Confirm You Are 18+.Pop-up banners scroll along the edgesof the page, daring the viewer to see more.Exclusive Footage!andWatch the Full Video Now!
Even in its blurred, pixelated state, the image makes my stomach drop. Hovering over the screen, my hand shakes as I click play. I'm instantly reacquainted with my old friend, regret, who wastes no time reminding me I should've known better.
There's a partial photo of my husband in nothing but a bathrobe, and the two girls clinging to him are clearly nude.
I lie back on the bed, devastated. Watching the mostly blurred-out video and reading the attached article, humiliation swallows me, leaving me hollow and raw. I understood what Jaxson meant when he insisted on this ridiculous idea for our marriage, and now, with it in my face and exposed to the world for gossip, it's exactly how I pictured it. The reality is unbearable.
Like a toddler covering my eyes, I naively believed that if I couldn't see it, it wouldn't touch me. I was wrong about that… but I was right not to want this. Jaxson'slittle experimentwas never going to work, and I knew it. Now I can't unsee what he did, and there's no undoing it.
From the moment he abandoned our marriage for others, we were over. There's no way back. Our relationship is destroyed, and I'm emotionally wrung out.
I leap from the bed and make it to the bathroom just in time to wretch. Since there's nothing in my stomach, it's just dry heaves. I slide to the floor, face down, forehead pressed against the cool tile. I hiccup softly as I cover my mouth, my thoughts drift through the life I thought I was building with Jaxson, one that had already begun to crumble.
Memories play on a loop. The first time we met was at a hockey game, ironically. The sport had always been in his blood, and he was incredibly talented. And cute. Definitely that. Skating across the ice, a head taller than everyone else. I'd seen him before, since we'd been in school together for years. But that day, he zeroed in on me, skated up to the sidelines where I sat with my friends, and asked my name. The rest is history.
Movies. Holding hands. Skating. Ice cream. Laughing until our cheeks hurt. Whispered I love yous. Happiness. Marriage… through thick and thin.
I can't imagine it getting any darker than it is right now.
I sit up and glance at the phone still in my hand, the headlines continuing to scroll. I squeeze my eyes shut against the pain.
Every sweet, tender memory is tainted now, poisoned by what he's done. Whatever we were is gone. I have nothing left to give.
He deserted me at Christmas, our favorite time of year. While the world gathered around family and warmth, he chose to spend it with other women. Two of them, in fact. I'm not ignorant. The meaning is painfully clear.
