"… so don't blame me for your screw ups,” Rod continues. “Besides, Cassie never traveled with us, but Melly came with you to every game. Our situations aren't even the same.”
Turning away from him, I let my forehead rest against the wall.
“I thought you two werethedream couple. It's hard to believe you just stopped talking,” Rod remarks, frowning.
I… that's on me, I guess. She tried texting and calling after we opened the marriage, but I just avoided her. Everything was all so new and intense at first, but somewhere along the way, I forgot what held value and lost sight of her. Now that I can’t reach her, she’s all I think about.
“Until I tried to call her and heard that automated voicemail greeting, I hadn't realized it had been months since I’d last spoken to her. I miss her voice. Just thinking about it now turns my stomach.”
“I guess it makes sense now why you're in such a state. You've probably tanked your marriage,” Rod mutters, shaking his head.
Panic claws at me as I glance around, as if searching for a way out of the mess I've created. If I weren't committed to this game and the nearly eleven thousand fans waiting out there, I'd already be on a plane home.
Noticing my distress, Rod admits, “Truth is, it's not really working for us either, despite all the safeguards. Even though I put her first every time, it wrecked our intimacy. Relationships just aren't built for more than two people. The dynamics are too complex, and everything throws the balance off. It's not fair to anyone.
“Every time I kiss her, she pulls back and asks if I'm comparing her to someone else. If she's still enough. It’s made her unsure of us… of me.”
This is too hard to hear, and I try to swallow around the bile creeping up my tightening throat.
He sighs deeply. “I hate to own up to this, Jax, but Cassie left me a couple of weeks ago, and I've been reeling ever since.”
I grip my face, then drag my hands through my hair.
“Perfect. Just perfect. This is a nightmare,” I moan as I think back on the night Rod told me he and Cassie opened their marriage.
[Flashback]
It's a couple of months before the new season starts, and we've just wrapped up an out-of-town charity game. Rod walks behind me, arms around two beautiful girls, laughing and whispering as we head down the tunnel toward the locker room. I glance back. One of the girls is the blonde who was checking me out earlier. She’s taller than most women, wearing booty shorts that show off legs that seem to go on forever. Seeingher has this effect on me. Uncomfortable, I adjust myself, trying to fight the urge, but my body isn't listening. Lately, I've been noticing the female fans in a way I never have before. I can feel their eyes on me, hungry and eager.
I shake my head and turn back toward the locker room. I love Melly! I chastise myself. She's my person, my forever. No one else even comes close. Still, my gaze drifts back and lingers on the blonde. Her eyes are locked on me. She smirks and licks her lips seductively. I can't seem to look away from her mouth. I adjust myself again and pick up the pace.
Inside, I take off my skates, strip off my clothes, and toss them in my bag. Rod struts up to his stall next to mine, peeling off his gear like the cat that got the canary, oozing smugness.
"What's going on with you, Rod?" I finally bark out in frustration. "You and Cassie… split?"
"What? No!" he laughs, sitting down to take off his skates. "Why would you ask that?"
"Maybe because you've got two hot chicks hanging off you like you're single."
"Jealous?" he flashes me a cocky grin. "Nah, man. Cassie and I are good. Better than ever, actually."
I snort, "Yeah? It doesn't appear that way to me. It looks more like you're auditioning for a reality show or for the front page of the gossip sites."
He leans back against the stall, the grin permanently affixed to his face. "We opened things up. Took off the pressure. No more pretending temptation doesn't exist. If someone catches one of our eyes, we talk about it. No sneaking around."
I blink at him. "You're serious?"
"Dead serious," he says. "Look, everyone's doing it. Especially when you're famous." He stretches his arms wide like he's posing for a magazine cover. "They all want some of this. Full of himself, he throws back his head with a rumbling, contagious laugh.
He turns back to his stall, stowing his dirty gear in his bag. Retrieving his towel and body wash, he heads to the showers, and I follow close behind. Hanging his towel on the hook, he turns the shower head toward himself and soaps up under the steamy jets.
I come up next to him, mimicking his actions. "And Cassie's okay with it?"
"She didn't agree immediately," he shrugs. "It took her a minute to warm up to it."
In that moment, when Rod starts explaining this new "trend", my thoughts instantly go back to that cute blondewho was eye-banging me earlier. A shudder runs through me as my lower stomach tightens, and I nearly drool thinking about the possibilities.
My mind drifts to her mile-long legs and the fun we could have while Rod keeps talking. Words like "honesty," "no lies," and "rules" roll off his tongue as he grins. He's just a blur now, his voice fading in and out behind the fog in my brain.
