Chapter 11 – Misplayed Pass
Ice Ain't Always Smoother
December
Jaxson
Twisting off the shower knob, steam curls around me as I grab a towel. My hands shake, whether from lingering shame or the booze still in my system, I don't know. I scrub my mouth with my toothbrush, working to erase the bitter taste of last night. The mint stings, and I wince. Clean mouth. Conscience not so much.
Wrapping a robe around myself, I step into the bedroom. The walk-in closet is just beyond the bed. Mandy is still sprawled across the sheets as if she belongs there. She smiles slow and lazily, her gaze roaming up my body. Tension coils in me as she reaches out, fingers lightly brushing my arm as I pass.
I stiffen. Guilt, regret, and a bit of leftover desire I shouldn't feel wash over me. I know she shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be doing this with her, but the familiar pull is still there. She's warm, tempting, and easy. I'm hungover, not drunk, so I dodge her touch. She wants me to smile, relax, and play along. I don't.
"Jaxson," she purrs, "Do you feel better after your shower?"
Gritting my teeth, I mutter, "Yeah. I just need to get dressed." I nod toward the closet.
Stepping inside, I lock the door, hearing her on the other side.
"Do you need something for a headache, honey?" she coos.
"I'm fine," I snap through the door, pulling clothes from hangers and drawers. Every instinct yells to put distance between us.
Once dressed, I whip out of the closet and grab my phone and wallet.
Mandy leans against the wall, blocking my path. She reaches out and wraps her arms around my neck.
"Are you okay, baby?" she whispers, her face close to mine that I feel her breath on my cheek.
I don't answer. I barely have time to think before she lunges, her mouth finding mine in a rush of heat and impulse, and I instantly respond. The kiss turns messy and urgent, tongues colliding as she nips and sucks, breath hitching as I jerk her closer so there's no mistaking what I want from her. I feel the pull, even knowing what it costs. Our mouths meet hard and hungry.
It's reckless and wrong, full of everything we shouldn't be doing, and I can't stop. I tell myself it doesn't mean anything. This is just a physical attraction. Wanting her doesn't mean I don't love Melly. The guilt presses in, but I shove it aside, like I always do, drowning it with distraction. It's easier that way, with another drink. I don't want to think. I want the rush, need the voice in my head to leave me alone about Melly.
Then Melly's face appears in my head. Soft, warm, loving Melly. Looking up at me with trusting eyes, and I push Mandy away.
"I told you I'm fine," I repeat, firmer. My eyes flick past her to my escape route.
Her smile falters, knowing she's near to crossing the line. She drops her arms and steps aside.
"Where are you going?"
"Out."
"I'll go with you," she says, dropping onto the bed to put on her shoes.
"Alone."
"But… "
"I said alone." My voice rises as I lose my patience. I don't wait another minute. I turn and move past her into the hall.
At the elevator, I punch the call button. The doors open, and I step inside, selecting the ground floor. Sagging against the wall, I lean my head back and close my eyes, sighing.
Finally, I can breathe.
My head clears as the doors slide open, and I turn towards the hotel bar. It's only noon, but I need a drink.
I pull myself onto the barstool and rest my head on my hands.
