And Mandy? I don't understand women like her. Why would she want a man who could be taken from his wife or girlfriend? I would never feel secure with someone who has already proven he can't be trusted. He's a liar, a cheat, a traitor. I'd always feel like I wasnext, tossed aside for the newer, shinier model. But then again, some women do have enormous egos.
Mistresses, affair partners, open marriages, it's all really the same thing. An inability to commit your heart. Let's be honest. If you love someone, you don't want anyone else. Anything more than that reveals an emptiness, a rot that destroys more than it ever gives, and I refuse to be collateral damage to it.
I swing my legs off the bed and walk into the kitchen. I need a soothing cup of herbal tea. Hopefully, I'll be able to go back to sleep. Settling into my reading nook, I sip my tea and watch the snow fall outside the window. A dull ache begins to settle in my chest, but I smile as I remember my second-place finish at the NorthStar Challenge in Vienna, Austria, last week.
[Flashback]
I'd just settled into my hotel room to rest before my flight the next morning when my CanMobile phone rings on the bedside table. I get all warm inside when I see it's Bash calling.
“Hey, Pretty Boy,” I smile as I settle back under my blanket.
“Firebird!” he laughs. “Your performance was stellar. You're a natural, and that Olympic medal will be yours.”
“Yeah? You think so?”
“No doubt about it.”
The next hour flies by as we talk about our day, mostly about my win. Bash is private and doesn't share much about himself. I know he's part-owner of a few business ventures, including the club where we met, and that he's a big hockey fan who loves to play. But I never bring up hockey with him. I constantly change the subject because it's still a sore spot for me. I don't want him to fangirl if I inadvertently mention Jaxson. That would cut me deep.
“Hey, what are you doing for the Christmas holiday? You and your husband visiting family?”
“I don't know. I haven't heard from him,” I sigh despondently.
He hesitates for a moment, then continues.
“Well, I'd like to plan our next date, and I was hoping you might have some time to spare around Christmas or Christmas Eve."
“My family and a few friends are gathering at my cabin for Christmas week,” he rushes on, his voice betraying a bit of anxious hope. “I'd like for us to do something special. Maybe a little ice skating, some hot cocoa with those tiny marshmallows, and a roaring fire. You could spend a couple of days before or afterChristmas. Invite your girlfriends so you'll know someone besides me. What do you think?”
“I think that sounds perfect. I'll let you know what my plans are for the holidays, and we'll work around them so we can spend a few hours together.”
“Let me know, Amelia,” he says softly. “I'll take what I can get. I've gotta run.”
[End of Flashback]
Our call ended after that, and I could tell he was disappointed. I guess I know my plans now, so I might as well tell Bash.
Picking up my CanMobile, I text him my holiday plans, which, honestly, are nothing.
Me:Hey, Pretty Boy. Hope I didn't wake you. Just finalized my holiday plans… I don't have any. So just tell me when you want me at the cabin.
Pretty Boy:Hey, Firebird. Good news for me. Can't sleep?
Me:Nope. Been up a while. My husband's flavor of the month called around midnight to humiliate me. Anyway… I'm now free for Christmas.
Sorry I woke you.
Pretty Boy:You can wake me up anytime, beautiful.??
Me:lol
Pretty Boy:Wait… his side piece? Called you that late to insult you. Petty troll.
Me:lol. Nice nickname! The Troll Trollop.
Pretty Boy:Ha! Ha! I like it!
I'll call you later today and we'll make a plan.
Me:Okay. TTYL.
Pretty Boy:Night.
It's close to Christmas, and my trip with Bash is in a few days, so I need to get ready. He's the one bright spot in my life right now—my life preserver.
But at the moment, my cup of chamomile tea has eased my agitation, and my eyelids grow heavy. I stretch, yawn, make my way back to bed, and snuggle in. Oddly enough, my dreams aren't troubled by images of Jaxson and his lovers, but are instead filled with cheerful images of a cabin on a mountain, a beautiful ice-covered pond, a roaring fire, and a man with comforting arms and crystal-blue eyes.
