“Because I want you as my own,” he answered. “Not as some mere consort, but as an equal; a partner, a lover. It would destroy me to watch you fade, but if it pleased you? I would see myself destroyed a thousand times over, darling. You remind me of who I was before Hell changed me, before I became a Prince. If only I were still that man… how differently the past few weeks would have gone.”
The silence that followed only made his words cut deeper, laced with deception I couldn’t quite bring myself to unravel.
“How do I know you’re telling the truth? That this isn’t just another lie?”
He paused, almost flinched. “You can’t—not unless you take a chance and trust me.”
Sitri trailed his hand down my cheek to my jaw. Gentle pressure tilted my head upwards until his form, blurry with tears, filled my vision.
“What do you want, Lillia? When was the last time you asked yourself that?”
“I don’t need to ask.” Another sob, a silent plea for air. “I know. I’ve always known.”
“Go on, then. Tell me.”
“I want freedom. Safety. To get away from this stupid war and find somewhere Vapula can’t hurt me. I want to make my own decisions in a world that’s real, where agency means something, and there aren’t anysecrets.”
Sitri shook his head.
“A lie.” He spoke with certainty, as if it were an indisputable fact.
“What you desire is connection.Love.Your friends, your family, your Duke… they withheld it from you, didn’t they? You betray yourself so easily, darling—you always have.”
The Prince leaned in, and I wasn’t sure whether to pull back or hold my ground. His breath stirred hot against my skin. Time slowed to a crawl. I let Sitri close in on me. He gripped my waist; I brought my hand to his shoulder, but couldn’t quite push him away.
Then his lips met mine in a damning kiss, sweet as sugar and solanine.
Sitri’s mouth enveloped my entire world, and his body engulfed me. I leaned into him, drinking him into my very being, returning the kiss with all I had to offer. My face flushed with heat. I grew giddy. Lightheaded. Everything spun in a rush unlike any I’d known before as he intoxicated me. Poisoned me.
When Sitri finally broke away, I reeled and gasped for air.
“You were never meant to serve in Vapula’s shadow.” His whisper caressed my cheek, sent an electric current to my core. “I cannot bring a human into my world. But as a demon, as my equal? Doors will open for you that you cannot even imagine.”
As I came back to reality, a smile faded from my face. A smile I hadn’t realized I was wearing.
“Trust me, Lillia. Allow me to bind you. Give this—giveus—a chance. Try this new existence on for size, and if it doesn’t fit? You are free to go. You will have the strength to leave.”
I wanted to agree, to hand him whatever he asked for, to surrender to him, no matter the price. What he offered me might be a dangerous lie, or the promise of salvation; there was no way to know until it was too late. I glanced at the pitch-black bones jutting from the tips of myfingers. If I didn’t stop it, that decay would spread and dissolve my soul. Eat away at me until there was nothing left.
“And if I say yes? What happens then? If I… let you change me?” I asked.
“A ritual that binds your soul to me. It will take just a few minutes, and you can back out at any time, even once we start. Though it may be unpleasant, it will leave your mind unaltered, and your soul as close to human as is possible. If you cannot endure that, I won’t push you further. I swear.”
There was something about the gentle way he touched me, the soft, soothing words he spoke. All my life, I’d never known anything like this, and I craved it. Maybe Sitri knew better, and what I truly wanted was connection.
Maybe I’d let him convince me of that. And just maybe, he’d use it to unravel me.
“I’m scared, Sitri. I’m… so afraid.”
The Prince pulled back, face inches from mine, jaw tight. “Please, allow me to help you. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and fall. I promise I will catch you. What have you got to lose?”
A fresh wave of tears pooled in my eyes. As I studied Sitri’s expression, they cascaded down my cheeks. His silver-mirror irises reflected my pain. My fear. My hopelessness. In them, I saw the truth I’d known all along;
“Everything,” I whispered. “I have everything to lose.”
“Trust,” he murmured as he pulled me closer. “You have everything to lose, and everything to gain. What does your heart desire?”
Desire. The root of Sitri’s power, something that he stoked and influenced. I swallowed. My chest ached, my stomach churned with the fear that my wants weren’t my own.
