“Drinking oils, darling. Water is a rarity in Hell, haven’t you heard?”
I shot him a glare. “Can’t say I have.”
As if acting on some invisible cue, the demons served themselves. Sitri moved first and piled his plate high with meat and bread. Mara took a more modest helping of jellies and vegetables, while Apollo sampled every dish on the table. I opted for a serving of sautéed mushrooms and what looked like some sort of omelet.
I eyed that omelet with apprehension and cut it with my fork. When I brought it to my mouth, my resistance waned. Light, velvety eggs melted on my tongue, revealing the spiced meats that laced them. The otherworldly herbs that flavored the omelet gave it a warm, slightly earthy taste. Under any other circumstances, I would have taken my time and enjoyed it. That proved difficult when the Prince watched my every move.
“Why so quiet? You’re a guest here, loosen up,” Sitri mumbled through a mouthful of meat. “Tell me about yourself. What kind of life did you lead?”
I brought my fork to rest on my plate. I had done everything in my power to avoid thinking about the life I had left behind. The life I so carelessly threw away.
“A short life,” I answered, “and an uneventful one. I lived until I was twenty-one. Then I died. There isn’t much more to it than that.”
A flood of emotions must have washed over my face, while Sitri’s stayed as still as stone. His words brought back memories I didn’t want to dwell on. Memories of my parents’ demands. The sacrifices I’d made to appease them. The lives I’d ruined escaping them.
“Not to be curt with you, darling, but you don’t seem like the type to wind up down here. Most of us are detestable, ill-mannered characters. You don’t fit the bill.”
My head shot up, my eyes locked with Sitri’s as he snapped me from my thoughts. There was something on his face that I had a hard time placing. An inquisitive gaze, and tight muscles, halfway between curiosity and suspicion.
“You want to know what I did to wind up in Hell,” I said. It wasn’t a question.
“I do. And by the way you’re talking, I have a feeling you know what did it, too.”
Clasped hands. Broken promises. Kept secrets. The drinks, the drugs, the sex I used to fill the bottomless hole in my heart and keep Vapula’s presence at bay. Things I wouldn’t dare admit had damned me to this place. My breathing hitched as I failed to stuff my emotions down. Pain, regret, and the familiar burn of rage built like pressure in my chest.
Mara didn’t seem to notice the tension at the table, but Apollo shifted in his seat. I ignored his discomfort. I only wanted to eat and return to the privacy of my room, where I wouldn’t have to deal with Sitri’s questions.
“It doesn’t matter what I did.” My muscles tensed as I fought the furrowing of my brow and an aching agony threatened me with tears. “Even if Idoknow, it’s my business, not yours. Pick a different topic; I’m not interested in this lame excuse for small talk.”
Still holding his fork, Sitri shrugged. There was that crooked smile again, crossing his lips and baring his sharp, white teeth. I was quickly coming to hate him, and I hated his grin most of all.
“It’s nothing personal; I’m just trying to figure out what I’ve gotten myself into. We’re all down here for a reason. I only trust those who wear their sins on their sleeves, and you, my darling, have skeletons in your closet.”
“Drop it,” I demanded, my anger drowning out my resolve. “I told you what you need to know. If you want to share secrets, start with your own.”
Sitri had the nerve to laugh.
“Awfully bold for a human, aren’t you? If it’s games you fancy, I’ll play—just this once.” The Prince leaned forward across the table, abandoning his relaxed posture. “Fragile toys break, and you’re noexception, darling. Try to threaten me, and it will be the last mistake you ever make.”
I took a deep breath and collected my plate, still loaded with food. I stood. Apollo flinched as I kicked my chair into place and sent it clattering against the table.
“Thank you for the meal, Sitri. If you need me, I’ll be in my room.”
With my breakfast in hand, I turned and left the dining hall.
“Sitri…” Apollo’s voice echoed from the doorway.
I hesitated just beyond its threshold.
“I know,” Sitri snapped back, “but this will take time. Give her space. Let her grieve.”
“You don’t have time. She reeks,” Mara growled. “Her secrets are going to fester, and when they do, you’ll regret your leniency with her. Mark my words.”
All went silent except for the clanking of cutlery. Once I was certain they had nothing left to say, I crept away from the hallway, more confused and angry than I’d been before.
I retraced the steps to my bedroom, only getting lost once along the way. I eased myself back into the darkness and locked the door behind me. My food had gone cold, but that didn’t stop me from wolfing it down in privacy. The desk was the best place to put the now-empty plate. It clattered unevenly on the table. When I reached beneath it, my hand met something small, made of metal. It was a box that rattled when I shook it. The rough patch on its side suggested it contained matches. I left it where it lay, not caring to light a lamp, and I returned to the bed.
I tucked my knees up to my chest and held them tight. All the thoughts and memories I had forced out of my mind came flooding back to me. I was dead; not dreaming, not tripping, not off in a transient daydream I could leave at any time.
