“Merci, mon amour.” She moves to sit in the chair next to mine. “Now, tell me about the girls you have left.”
I recount important bits of each date as I show Mother the pictures in my binder. She listens intently while I rapid-fire pros and cons, nodding or laughing or groaning at appropriate times. She asks questions but doesn’t offer any advice.
“Do you have any front-runners?”
I exhale. “I think I need to narrow things down more. Twenty is just too many to get to know properly. But there are a few who I’ve rather enjoyed getting to know.”
“And what about this woman from the ball?”
My heart picks up pace, stomach doing a little somersault at just the thought of her. “Aurelia?”
“Oui. Is that her name? She is lovely,non?”
“Aurelia is…” I let out a breath. “She’s so genuine. It’s like she has no idea how to accept attention. She’s not quite used to our social norms, you know?”
Mother pushes my hair away from my face. “But she is not one of the ladies.”
It’s not a question. Mother knows this list perhaps better than I do. I hang my head, not sure what she’s trying to get at with the line of questioning, but there’s a clenching in my chest that makes it hard to breathe.
“No, she’s not a marriageable prospect.”
Mother hums but doesn’t say more.
“Being with her, Mother. It’s so… refreshing,” I say with a heavy sigh. “Some of these women are so focused on propriety, they’re like puppets on a string. Aurelia is always so at ease. I mean, not initially, but she got over the whole prince thing pretty quickly, andnow I get the real version of her. I can’t seem to give her up.”
“Oh,mon chou.” Mother pulls my face against her chest just like she did when I was a child and needed her strength. “I wish so much you could find a love that makes your soul sing.”
I want to scream that I have. I have found the woman who makes my heart feel light and my worries disappear. Who consumes my whole being and yet never feels like she’s taking anything from me.
“Tell me more about her,mon amour.”
“She’s delightfully American,” I say with a small chuckle.
“What ever does that mean?”
I laugh again, unable to contain the lightness that only Aurelia brings. “She’s so confident in any situation. Even though I know she was a wreck on the inside at the ball, no one else would have known because she just dives right into anything like she belongs there. Aurelia is fiercely independent. She moved to Emarvia right before university, leaving everything she knew behind to start the life she wanted here. But she loves so hard. I see her with Dietrich and Rebecca’s children, and she’s just incredible. It makes me think of…” A lump forms in my throat, and I trail off.
Mother squeezes me tighter. “You will find that woman, too,mon soleil. I am certain of it.”
Heat prickles at the corners of my eyes. “How are you so certain?”
“Because, my sweet boy, you are kind and honorableand just. I know you will pick a woman who will see those qualities in you and will want to be the perfect complementary partner to you.”
I sigh, my mind no more settled than it was when I sat down to narrow the list of datable women. “It’s time I get started on letters of regret, I suppose.”
Mother stands with me and pulls me into a hug. “I remember when you fit so neatly against my chest. Now look at you.” She peers up from my chest, where her head rests. Holding me even tighter, she says, “Before you get started, would you join your father in his study? The doctor will be arriving soon.”
All the tension she had rubbed away moments ago comes flooding back.
The doctor has nothing new to say. Scans are showing no improvement, but they aren’t worse either. Father’s poor appetite and subsequent weight loss are still the cardinal concern. A few different options are batted around, but Father rejects them all. He has refused any more surgeries after the four he endured in the first year after the recurrence.
Claus leaves not long after the doctor, stopping to kiss Father on the cheek on the way out. Then Mother finally collects herself so no one will be able to see she has been crying, and she too leaves the study. Father and I sit alone in silence for a while.
He clears his throat, but his voice still soundsstrained. “Friedrich, I need you to go to Munich for me next week. Just for a couple of days.”
“Alone?”
“You will have Harold and Marvin and the deputy private secretary, but I think it is time we begin appointing your own staff.”
