The bag warmed to my face; every breath fogged my own air. I tilted my head to make a tent and pulled a stitch with my teeth until it squeaked. The mouth of the bag opened half an inch. Air tasted like pennies and dust. Better than canvas.
Something cold kissed my forearm. Metal ring bolted to the wall at ankle height, cargo tie-down. I flexed my hands and slid on my hip until my wrists kissed it too. Plastic against steel. I started sawing the zip tie back and forth, slow, patient, the tail’s serrations biting themselves dull. Not to cut through, just to raise heat, soften the lock, earn a millimeter.
Left turn. Harder. We sloshed inside our own skins. The floor tilted under me and my body said downhill. The tires threw grit. We’d hit county road, shoulder sand and potholes speaking in the suspension. There, ding-ding-ding. Railroad cross buck. The axles counted the ties, one-two-three-four, and then the hollow thrum of bridge decking, water below talking to rock. Cold came up through the floor like a rumor.
“Watch your drift,” the calm voice said from up front, the watcher’s cadence, level in my bones. “Outside lane tightens after the culvert.”
He didn’t shout. He never does. That voice pins men to lines and makes them feel clever about obeying.
I slid my left cheek along the mat until my jaw hit a bolt head. I pressed. Sharp. Dry. Good. I dragged my skin over it once, twice, until the sting gave me a small wet. I smeared the blood on the mat seam next to the hinge bar. A mark, stupid and brave. Maybe no one would ever see it. Maybe I just needed to know I’d insisted on existing.
“Sit up,” a different voice grunted behind me.
I didn’t. Dead weight costs men time. A fist landed low on my shoulder blades, professional again, no flourish, just compliance. Pain flashed white. I rolled a little, played along by inches. The bag breathed with me. I kissed the cargo ring withthe zip tie again. Plastic warmed. The tail nicked skin. I kept going.
We braked, nose down, then rolled slow through a wash of blinker sound from outside, not ours. Crossing, intersection, sheriff who wants to be seen. The driver eased, obeyed, then fed it again. He didn’t stop completely. Counting turns, counting time. Left. Short sprint. Right. Uphill now. The engine strained and the smell changed, pine pitch, wet rock, mountain road. Switchbacks coming. Good for me later. I put that knowledge in my mouth like a mint.
“ETA?” front passenger asked.
“Eight,” the driver said. “Unless county pulled the sawhorses at the ridge.”
“Hold lane discipline.” Calm voice. “No heroics.”
Another voice, young, too proud, said, “She hit me.”
“Good,” the calm one said. “Means she’s not broken.”
Laughter, quick and mean, from farther back. The kind men use to show each other they’ve killed the part of themselves that cares.
The van leaned right hard enough to make the sidewall groan. Gravel kicked up. We were hugging a turn with nothing on the other side but air. My shoulder slid; my stomach lifted a half inch; the bag went hot. I breathed through it. When the lean flattened, my ribs counted two breaths and then another left. Hairpins. I could feel the way the wheel rotated in the floor through the twitch in the frame. I pictured the road from the map in my head, the ridge cut, the skinny shoulder, the guardrail that glitters with other people’s bad days. I pictured water below. Cold water. Fast.
“Hold,” calm voice said. “Truck oncoming.”
The driver downshifted. The engine barked. We hugged the inside. The van shuddered when the box truck missed us by inches, wind pressure thumping the panels. I pressed my wristsharder into the ring and sawed one more time. The plastic softened another fraction, not enough, not yet. Hold.
“Why a bag?” I asked the air, the bag, anyone who needed to think I was harmless. Let the voice shake; let them hear the girl. “You can just say where we’re going.”
“Save your breath,” someone said from very near my boots.
“Bag is courtesy,” the calm voice said. “You don’t want to see their faces.”
“I do,” I said into canvas, because honesty is a weapon too. “I want to see yours most.”
Silence. Then a single, very slight laugh, amused, not threatened. “you'll.”
We hit rougher asphalt; winter patches chattered under the tires. My shoulder rubbed the mat again, more blood, another little smear I could leave like a breadcrumb a fox might read. I worked my jaw until my earring caught in the bag seam. No earring; right, of course. I’d lost both on the first night. Stop thinking about jewelry. Think about screws.
I wormed my right index finger to the bolt head again and wiggled it. Loose, maybe half a turn. Not helpful now, but it made me feel like a locksmith with no lock.
We climbed more. The van’s pitch told me we were on the long approach to the ridge. The driver lifted, fed, lifted, fed. The seat springs up front squeaked on the lift. Thirty-five miles an hour, maybe forty. Not fast enough to be cocky. Fast enough to kill me if I jumped wrong. That thought came and sat with me and I didn’t ask it to leave.
“Target two secure,” the young one said, like he was trying the words on for size. “Target one resisting.”
“Target one always resists,” calm voice said. “He was built for it.”
Cap. The thought of him like a wire under my skin. I pressed my tongue against my teeth so hard that taste flooded my mouth. If I said his name, the bag would eat it.
The road surface changed again, ridges in the tar, expansion joints. We were on a bridge, short, not the big one. Water ran loud, closer now, arguing with itself. The air temp dropped inside the van by a thumb-width. My fingers cramped. I flexed them, and the zip tie answered with a cruel little click. The tail dug in. I swore inside my mouth, so it didn’t cost me more air.
