But I know the answer. “Because I’m fucking afraid,” I admit, holding my arms out wide. There it is. The truth.
“So you broke up with her?” he asks, but his voice is gentler now than a few moments ago.
“I did. I didn’t want Mia to get attached and then have it not work out.”
Jason parts his lips, but he doesn’t get any words out—since someone else does.
“Butyougot attached, Dad.” It’s Mia, and she’s back at my side, holding a red ceramic mug full of hot chocolate. And pointing out the patently obvious.
“And then you broke it off with her,” Jason says.
Mia stares at me. “But you love her.”
I blink. What? “I…”
Jason smirks, then turns to Mia. “He does, doesn’t he?”
Mia rolls her eyes. “It’s so obvious. He invites her over to have dinner with me and Grams and Gramps. He takes her Christmas shopping for gifts for me. He asks her to get a tree. Then he plays Christmas music while wedecorate. He tells her about being a grumpy cat. He kisses her in the driveway when he thinks I’m not looking. Whenno one’slooking. He’s totally into her.”
So, she saw that driveway kiss. Guess I’m not so stealthy after all.
Mia knocks back some chocolate, then licks her lips.
Jason’s smirk grows wider as he turns slowly back to me. “Is that so?”
“It is very so, Agent Jason. Also, this party is super pretty, but I think it’s for adults.” Mia scrunches her brow. “I should be home in my jammies with Grams and Gramps.”
And I should be…
Oh god.
Oh fuck.
What is happening to me?
What is this squishy feeling in my heart?
This warm, fuzzy haze coming over me?
This…Christmas miracle bullshit.
I wince, and it’s borderline painful, but a good kind of pain, like sore muscles after a hard workout.
“And I should be with Isla,” I say, barely audible, but loud enough for Jason to perk right up.
He cups his ear. “What did you say?”
“I should be with Isla,” I repeat, and that was harder than getting back up on the ice after a vicious opponent knocks you onto your ass.
But you do it anyway.
Sort of like learning to love again.
“You really should,” Jason says.
“But I’m going to have to apologize big time.”
Jason lifts a finger. “Just a sec.”
