He’s good.
Professor Levine is a good man… and he…
He…
“I saidno, Professor Hilman.” I raise my hands and press them to his chest, and then shove as hard as I can. It’s not that I’m strong, because I’m definitely not. It’s because I’ve never fought back—I’ve never even sounded firm. So it’s no surprise that he falls off balance. The ridiculously fancy office chairs he has in front of his desk do the rest of the work.
He stumbles back, and it gives me time to dart around the room and to the office door.
It doesn’t give me time to get it open before he slaps his hand against it, and his fingers grab my arm, jerking me around hard enough that I’m pretty sure I’ll bruise. I let out a low sound of pain, but his eyes just go wide again.
“Luca… I know things between us ended awkwardly before?—”
“I don’t want this,” I interject, my hand fumbling behind my back for the doorknob.
“You just didn’t give it a chance before. I can give everything you need.”
I’d give you the fucking moon.
My reaction is instant, volatile… and probably enough to get me expelled. I raise my knee hard, feeling it come into contact between Professor Hilman’s legs. It’s enough to make him let out a low, pain-filled sound, and enough for me to shove him back again.
“Ihaveeverything I need, and it’s never going to be from you.” And then, with my heart thundering in my chest and my tongue feeling sticky in my throat, I add. “Fuck you, Professor Hilman.”
I… oh… God.
He looks up at me, his blue eyes sparkling with rage and tears… and I do the only thing I can. I turn on my heels and run, slamming the door behind me as I make my way to the only place I can think to go.
When I close Professor Levine’s door and press my back against it, the alarm on his face tells me he knows something is wrong.
I could tell him.
I could tell him everything about Professor Hilman, about what happened freshman year. I could tell him about the way he put his hands on me just now. But there’s something in the back of my mind pounding, telling me that probably wouldn’t be the best idea.
Maybe dealing with it on my own isn’t good, but there’s a small part of me that thinks maybe… maybe Maddox has a bit of a temper. And if I’m right… if he really does care about me the way I think he does…
Well…
I’m not going to be the reason he loses his job—not because of what we’re doing, and not because he hits another professor with no logical way of explaining why it happened.
“Luca? Is everything okay?”
I don’t have an explanation for the color on my cheeks, though thankfully I can pull my sleeves down to hide the ugly red fingerprints on my arm. I nod quickly, and then immediately shake my head.
“No. I don’t know. I…” I need an explanation. Any explanation for the way I’m acting. By the time he crosses the room and cups my face, my heart feels like it’s going to rush from my throat to tell him everything… but the words that come out are only half the truth. I lift my hand, pressing my palm to the center of his chest just in time to feel the way his pulse picks up at my words. “Professor Hines told me you’re happier now than you’ve been in a long time… but she also said someone hurt you before. I just… I want to do whatever I can to show you that I’ll never doanythingto hurt you.”
Even if that means keeping what just happened with Professor Hilman a secret to protect him fromhimself.
Chapter
Twenty-Four
MADDOX
Fucking Crista.I’m going to kill that woman.
Though it’s high time I told Luca what happened. He needs to know if for no other reason than he’s in my life now. If I have a bad day, if I second guess what we have, he’ll know why.
But not here. I can’t have such a deep, probably emotional conversation on campus.
