And he’s afraid.
Of me? Of whatever is going on in his head? Of what?
I wish I had answers; I wish he’d talk to me when he’s not on his knees, but fuck do I love how he looks down there.
Those expressive brown eyes are wide and eager, though there is a flash of fear for just a moment. His tongue peeks out to wet his lips, the pink tip so enticing I want to bend and take it into my mouth. His pink cheeks. The tears that dampen his eyes.
Could he be any more beautiful?
But something is wrong. His head is too full for him to really enjoy all I want to do to him. We can’t have that.
I drag my thumb down his cheek, rubbing away the one tear that escaped. “I can teach you everything you need to know. But you’re not into it.” He opens his mouth to object, but I shush him with a finger to his lips. “I’m not saying I won’t help you, Luca. I’m saying that right now isn’t the time. But I can get you out of your head. Do you trust me?”
He pauses, swallowing roughly. I don’t take the hesitation personally—we barely know each other besides him working for me and our failed attempt at Mask. What I want from him requires trust, especially if there will be more of this.
Finally, he swallows one more time, then nods. “Good boy,” I whisper, thumbing over his bottom lip. “I don’t want you to get off your knees. Okay?”
“Yeah, okay.” His voice trembles, fear evident. But he keeps his eyes on me.
Placing my hands over his, I maneuver us until he’s positioned better between my legs. “Follow my instructions and trust me.” He nods. “Undo my pants. Take out my cock.” He looks at me with those wide, scared eyes. He licks his lips, then bites the bottom one between his teeth.
“You want me to do it?” I ask gently.
Luca shakes his head, then pulls in a deep breath. With quick, trembling hands, he undoes my pants and shimmies then down my hips. Then he reaches into my underwear, gripping my half hard cock and pulling it out.
His eyes widen and his mouth drops open in a soft “Oh.” Luca looks up at me, a small smile on his lips. “It’s bigger than I thought it would be.”
I throw my head back and laugh, not expecting the compliment, but appreciating it nonetheless. “I’m not hard, Luca. Not completely.”
“Oh,” he whispers again. “What now?”
“I want you to take me in your mouth and suckle while I finish entering grades.”
“You want me to… what?” he asks, a confused look etched on his face.
Cupping his cheek, I say, “You need something to get you out of your head. You don’t need to do anything. Don’t need to get me off or blow me. You just need to calm yourself.”
“I don’t know… I mean… I…”
“You don’t have to, Luca. You don’t have to doanythingyou don’t want to do.” I put as much honesty as I can into those words so he knows that I’m saying them because I mean them. If Luca got off his knees right now and said he just wanted to talk, I’d redo my pants and listen while he unloaded whatever was on his mind. All I want is for him to be comfortable enough to come to me if he needs me.
The look he gives me is so fucking heartbreaking that I almost take him into my arms so I can hide him from the world. There’s something there, something deep that he can’t push past his lips. God, I’d give anything to take a peek into his mind so I can make it all better for him.
“What is it, Luca?” I can hear the begging note in my tone. “Won’t you tell me?”
He opens and closes his mouth several times, his hand spasming on my dick. I push away how fucking good it feels that he’s touching me so I can give him the attention he needs.
Sitting back on his heels, Luca pushes a hand through his hair. “Sometimes it feels like my head is full of static.” He taps his temple. “But… this will help?”
“It will,” I promise. “When you’re calm, I can show you so much.” I tip his head back further so he can meet my gaze. “I can make you feel so good, give you all the pleasure you thought might be impossible. But not like this. I won’t take advantage of you like that.”
He frowns, a single tear leaking from his left eye. “Will you kiss me?”
I pause, peering down at him to make sure he means it. “If that’s what you want,” I whisper, leaning closer to him slowly so he can stop me if he wants.
“Yes, please.”
Gripping his chin between my thumb and forefinger, I draw him closer as I lean in, planting my lips gently against his.
