“Mask,” I provide for him.
“Yeah… I don’t know what I’m doing,” he repeats.
“Did you safe-word because I hurt you?” I ask, needing to know if I went too far. That would explain why he’s been so distant, not wanting me to touch him or for his gaze to clash with mine.
“No.” He says it weakly, almost so softly that I can’t hear. “It… it wasn’t that at all.”
But Luca doesn’t provide me with any more details.
I want to push, but it’s not the time. If he’s not feeling unsafe around me, then we can do more, and I can tunnel into his brain and retrieve all his secrets.
“So you’re not hiding from me?”
A soft smile tips up his lips. “No, Professor. I don’t think I could.”
I nod, pulling my lips in. I want him to give me more than what he is, but I can’t make him explain anything. I won’t push his boundaries.
“Okay.” Sighing, I push my fingers through my hair. “I don’t like thinking I’m the reason you’re not comfortable.”
“I’m okay. Thank you. For checking on me, I mean.”
That’s probably as much as I’ll get from him, and I accept it. “Come to me if you need anything.”
His eyes flare, but he simply nods. I turn on my heels and leave, not wanting to make even more of a fool of myself.
Hurrying to my office, I close myself in and plop into the chair behind my desk. My eyes snag on the papers he left for me, organized by class time and play type. He’s so fucking efficient.
Hopefully, he doesn’t clam up when he comes back to my office. I need my fix of seeing Luca preen under my attention.
Chapter
Eleven
LUCA
Cometo me if you need anything.
The offer echoes in my head long after Professor Levine has vacated my little safe haven—well, it used to be a safe haven. Now it’s filled up with visions of how broad his body was, how much he filled up the space.
Maddox Levine is not an easy person to escape, even when I’m trying to. I half wonder if some part of him heard me thinking about quitting the TA position before I talked to my grandma. He seems like the kind of man who could read minds.
And… even though I’m not completely sure about a lot of things, it’s impossible for me to deny that it seems like he… likes me. I could run through a million excuses in my head for the way he looks at me, for the way he touched me…
But I’m a practical person, logical when emotions fail. Even when I’m being logical enough to be confused aboutwhysomeone like him would be interested in someone like me, I can’t deny the fact that it’s true.
“God… what am I supposed to do?” I drop my face into my hands as I murmur the question aloud, like I’m hoping the quiet whisper of books that usually brings me comfort will somehowmanage to take the knowledge the pages hold and give me an answer.
The only thing I hear is the sound of the rain.
I sit in the library for another hour before I realize that I can’t spend the entire day hiding. Of course, no one comes into this section—except, apparently, Professor Levine—so I could probably curl up on the chair and go to sleep without anyone knowing.
I need to get back to my dorm, though. Zandy probably forgot his keys again, and no one wants him trying to break in and breaking the door instead.
I take another slow breath, and when the books around me still don’t give me any answers, I head out. At least it isn’t raining anymore.
I make my way toward the dorms, but realize I’ve turned back toward Professor Levine’s office a few seconds after my feet carry me down the wrong path.
I don’t know what I’m going to do—I don’t know what I’m going to say. I’m honestly not even sure if he’s in the room anymore.
