Crista and Mika sit beside me at the bar, laughing at something I didn’t hear. The atmosphere in Mask is lively, and there areplenty of men and women who catch my eye, but not enough to hold my attention.
They walk around in the back section of the club in leather, chaps, harnesses, and some are completely naked. It’s fine, really it is, but right now, it’s doing nothing for me.
Mask is a club that caters to all manner of kinks, whether it be daddy, wax play, breath play, exhibitionism, voyeurism. It has everything anyone could possibly want for a fun night.
And none of it intrigues me.
I’m fucking irritated every time a brown-haired twink walks past because they’re not Luca.
I thought coming out tonight, feeling a hot mouth or warm ass around my dick would get me back on an even keel so I can ignore my perfect, sweet, innocent TA, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I can’t stop thinking about him, can’t stop wondering what he would look like all trussed up, waiting for me to make him feel good. What he would look like with tears streaming down his face as I spank him. How he would look up at me from his knees.
On the other hand, I can’t get involved with someone like him. Someone like him is why I’m so jaded, so cynical now. I try to tell myself that over and over, but that small, mature voice inside me says they’re not the same, that I can’t put the hurt of my past on Luca. But my heart and mind aren’t on the same page right now. And it’s confusing the fuck out of me.
“Fuck,” I grunt, even more irritated. I turn to the bartender and hold up my glass for another Scotch.
Crista leans over, bumping me with her hip. “Come on, Mad. There are some cute men here.” She turns to the dancing crowd. “Him.” She points to a man swaying at the edge of the dance floor. He’s cute, his long blond hair in a ponytail on top of his head. But he’s not what I want.
“No,” I grumble.
“Or him.” Another blond man with short hair, a wide smile, and pretty makeup. He’s attractive but too… outgoing.
“Nope.”
“You’re a grump.”
“And you’re annoying. Any other facts we want to share with the class?”
“Oh! Tell me how good I look.”
She strikes a pose, and I glare at her hard enough to terrify anyone else.
No denying she looks good. Her makeup is done to perfection, the highlighter on her cheeks making her brown skin sparkle under the lights. The bustier she’s wearing has her boobs pushed up under her chin, making everyone stop and take a long look. The thigh-high boots give serious Domme vibes.
If we weren’t friends and I wasn’t as gay as they come, I would try to pick her up. But I won’t be telling her that. Her head is big enough as it is.
Mika wraps her arm around her girlfriend to kiss her cheek. “If he doesn’t tell you, I will.” Crista turns to her and kisses her soundly.
I roll my eyes at their open affection. That’s probably something Luca would like, someone who’d show him they’re all in.
Would I be willing to give that to him? Could I show him through physical touch that I want him?
The last time I tried that…
I refuse to let memories of my past overwhelm me. It does nothing but sour my moments in the present.
Wait, why the fuck am I thinking about touching Luca? I’m here to get the tiny twink off my mind, not spend the entire night obsessing over him.
Scoffing, I knock my drink back and say, “I’m going to the rooms.”
“Have fun,” Crista sing-songs as I stride toward the back of the club, hoping something back there will take my mind off Luca.
Chapter
Five
LUCA
Mask.
