“I was glad to have Dax at school with me, and Peach State is a good fit for him. They have a good nursing program. And can we not do this today? I just want to have a good birthday.”
I immediately feel guilty, though I’m pretty sure my father is the one who did something wrong, but he also gets me riled up easily, so maybe I’m wrong.
“I’m not doing anything, Cedric. I’m talking to him about college, and as I’m the one paying for it, I’m allowed. But we can leave the discussion for another day.” Dad squeezes Cedric’s shoulder in a way he would never do for me, and as small of a thing as that is, what it does to my heart doesn’t feel small.
We hang out for a bit, Cedric and my father telling me what’s going on at work, before we head out to Dad’s car. I immediately get in the back so Cedric doesn’t try and bridge the gap between me and Dad by putting me in front with him. We both know that’s not what our father wants. As Dad drives us to the restaurant, the two of them end up discussing the housing market, something I know nothing about, so I pull my phone out to see if there’s a reply from Miles.
Miles: You think I’m nicer than I am.
No, I don’t think I do.
Me: You think you’re more of an asshole than you are.
Miles: Maybe I have you fooled.
The thing is, I really think he believes that. I don’t know what happened in his life that has hurt him so much. Losing his mom, of course, but it feels deeper, rawer.
Me: Maybe you have yourself fooled.
Miles: I want your hole.
He deflects, but I let it go because now isn’t the time to argue with him.
Me: My hole wants you. I’m feeling very empty.
Miles: No one fills you the way I do.
I could turn this into a joke, play it off like I disagree, but I don’t want to.
Me: No one fills me the way you do.
Miles: Fuuuuck. You’ve got me hard.
Me: Just the way I like you.
“Why are you grinning at your phone like that?” Cedric asks, and I realize we’re parked at the restaurant, my brother turned toward me, brow pinched in curiosity. “Oh my God. You like someone, don’t you? Does my little brother have a boyfriend?” He smiles.
My heart stumbles at the wordboyfriend.
“Ew. Gross,” I tease.
I don’t have a boyfriend, and I’ve never wanted one, but with Miles… I think I might be willing to make an exception.
21
Miles
I’m annoyed thatDax isn’t in bed with me right now.
This is what I get for letting a man spend nights over here with me.
It’s just more convenient, considering he works so late. Although, when the fuck did I ever care if it was inconvenient for someone to work all night, fuck around, and then head back home?
It’s different with Dax. He’s like me. He can fuck without feelings involved, and I don’t have to worry about him getting all weird and attached.
I don’t know why that thought suddenly irritates me even more than I already am, but my chest tightens.
Maybe I’m just pissed at Dax for going to see his family tonight. Not that I don’t want him to spend time with his family—that would be toxic as fuck, so…well, could easily be me. But it’s not just that I want to be balls-deep in him right now, as great as that would be. I don’t like the thought of him spending his time with his asshole dad.
