“Bad feelings are always there.”
Jesus. Whatever he’s been through, he’s definitely been hurt. There’s so much sadness in him, so much pain. I want nothing more than to make him feel better. “But I bet I help.” I smirk.
“You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t,” he replies, and I wait, letting him decide where the conversation goes next. “You like spaghetti, right?”
“I fucking love it.” I push up so I’m sitting on the countertop, making myself comfortable, and Miles cocks a brow at me.
We chat about school and everyday shit while he cooks. At one point, he walks by me, and I wrap my legs around him, pulling him close. Miles comes easily, his hands on my thighs as I lower my mouth to his. He lets me lead the kiss, and I take it slow, give myself a long, deep exploration of his mouth, his hands sliding up and down my legs, then my torso and back down again. I nibble at his lips, relish the taste of him, until his hand lands on my throat again, squeezing just enough to make my dick plump even more. “Be good,” I say, pulling away. “We’re getting to know each other, and then we’re eating.”
“You’re the one who started kissing me.”
“You’re annoyingly addicting,” I admit, and I swear Miles beams. First time I’ve seen that. He seems to want me as much as I want him, and there’s something incredibly intoxicating about that. “I think the pasta is done.”
He bites my bottom lip, then heads back to the stove.
“You fucker,” I complain, but I like what he did.
We eat on the couch, Miles putting on a show about queer men in the military. One episode ends, another starts, but he doesn’t ask me to leave, and I don’t try to go. I don’t want to go.
“You know what I like?” I ask.
“I’m sure you’ll tell me.”
I chuckle at his grumpy response. “Cuddling.”
“Ew.”
“Aw, come on. It can be fun. Human touch is good for you. At least, it’s good for me.”
“I’m not the cuddling type.”
“How do you know if you haven’t tried it? Maybe you’ll like it with me.”
He watches me, one brow cocked, gaze studying. “Maybe you’re the annoyingly addicting one,” he says but wraps an arm around me, and I settle against him. He smells like paint, but also, strangely, like a cool fall day—when the weather is just about to change, and everything is orange. I wonder what color he would see himself as. He used yellow for me. Despite the dark edges, the shadows I see in him, I like orange for Miles.
That’s my last thought before I fall asleep.
19
Miles
It’s frustrating drawingDax in class now. I don’t want to aim for the most accurate version of him, which is the point of the class. I want to draw the real Dax, the one I feel like I’ve seen much more of in the past few weeks, since we’ve been on some kind of sexathon after I made that ass exclusively mine.
He doesn’t make it any easier by posing like a goddamn slut.
Not that it’s any sluttier than anything he did before, but it’s not as easy to draw when I’m constantly shifting around to make room for my boner. And it would probably help if I didn’t keep shooting daggers at my classmate Hughey. He seems like a nice enough guy. Shy, keeps to himself, which I get, but he better raise his eyes a little, or I’m liable to flip my canvas and show him how to respect a model.
What the fuck am I even thinking? So what if he’s looking at Dax like that? It’s none of my business. I’d be doing the same. Dax is hot as hell. Good for him. Hughey’s not doing a damn thing wrong.You look at him and enjoy, Hughey, because at the end of the day, I’m the one who’s gonna be in that ass, not you.
I must’ve zoned out for a bit because now Hughey’s looking at me, his eyes bulging as he gulps, turning his attention quickly back to his work, which settles my nerves more than it should.Yeah, that’s right. Keep your eyes on the sketch pad. Dax looks the same as he did at the start of the semester.
What am I doing? Why am I glaring at this poor guy? Fuck, I’m a massive asshole.
“Miles, are you okay?”
What the—Where the hell did Professor Reger come from? It’s like she materialized next to me.
“You seem a bit—oh!” The way she says that, it’s like she’s made a startling discovery, and I follow her gaze…to my crotch.Ohwas right. She flinches as we lock eyes. “I see why you were so nervous at the start of the semester. I’m very proud of you for facing your fear.”
