6
Dax
Imostly playthings safe.
Sure, when it comes to sex, I’m open to almost anything, but almost anything has never been someone like Miles before. Typically, I’m a nice guy who likes nice guys. I want things light and fun, don’t deal with anything too intense because everything at home has always felt too intense for me.
There’s not a single reason the shit with Miles should have turned me on so much last night, why I should have gone home and fucked myself with my dildo until I shot my load all over my bed, but I’d done that too. I should be disgusted with myself, but then I try to reconcile the guy who followed me with the one who took a punch for me. The guy who said“you smile and the world is a different color, lighter.”It’s maybe the most incredible compliment I’ve ever gotten, and I can’t get it out of my head. He said he was watching me like a predator, but predators don’t think things like that, don’t tell me that my smiles lighten their world.
How is it Miles—Miles—who said that to me…and what color is my smile to him? Lighter, yes, but what is it? The fact that he’s so different turns me on. Makes me curious. Everything about him is such a dichotomy.
“You get it now, why you need to stay away from me?”
Did he tell me because in a weird, ass-backward way he’s trying to take care of me? Because he thinks he’s bad news?
I roll over on my mattress, which is on the floor. The guys from the frat will be here soon to help me move in, but I’m still thinking about fucking Miles.
“…you think I like this part of myself? You think I enjoy thinking that I want to fuck shit up? Fuck no. It’s just this demon in me, and I’m the only one who can stop it.”
What is going on inside that head of his? And why am I so fucking determined to figure it out?
I grab my cell off the nightstand and call my brother. He’s always been more levelheaded. It’s one of the reasons my father always preferred him, why Cedric is the one he trusts and depends on.
Cedric answers on the first ring. “Hey, little bro. What’s up?”
“I’m in a predicament,” I say, trying to choose my words carefully because I want his advice but without letting him know that Miles is a possible stalker with a metaphorical demon inside him.
“Uh-oh. This doesn’t sound good. What’s it about?”
“A guy.”
“You’re in the middle of a messy love triangle, aren’t you?”
I chuckle. “Funnily enough, I did find myself in such a situation last night, though it wasn’t my fault—and we both know how much I like being between two men.”
“Too much information for your brother,” he replies, but I know he doesn’t mean it. Not that I tell Cedric all the shit I do in detail, but he knows more about me than anyone in this world. “What’s going on with this guy?”
I don’t fucking know, which is part of my problem. “He’s super hot and cold with me. One minute he hates me, the next he’s swooping in to save the day. Then he’s warning me to stay away from him, and a second later he’s kissing the hell out of me.” And Miles Tanner can kiss. My dick twitches just thinking about the feel of his skilled mouth and the way his tongue sweptme up in a lust-filled vortex that honestly, despite all the weird shit he’d said, I hadn’t wanted to get out of.
“Well, if you were eight, I would tell you that means he likes you, which is fucked up if you think about it. Why do we tell kids that the sign of someone being into you is the fact that they’re mean to you sometimes?”
He has a point, which is another tally mark in the column telling me to stay the hell away from Miles. “I don’t know. People are weird.”
“That they are,” he agrees.
I can’t help but pull the attention back to the topic at hand, needing his advice. “I’m usually really good at reading people, and I’m not with him. I have no idea which way is up, and logically I know I should stay away, but let’s be real here, I’m probably not going to. I think…fuck, I think there’s more to him than most people see.”
“And you want to be the one to figure him out? The one to save him? Does that really come as a surprise to you?”
Affronted, I say, “Yes,” but really, deep down, I know he’s right.
Cedric laughs, but then sobers quickly. “Dax, I know you, and everyone might not see it, but you’re always,always, thinking about other people.”
“To be fair, I spend a whole lot of time thinking about myself too.” It’s true. I do what I want, when I want. I’m always down for a good time because it makes me feel good. I’m not the martyr my brother thinks I am.
“You do, yes, but you would also do anything for another person. You’re always trying to find a way to help someone else or make other people feel good. Does it really surprise you that you’re so intrigued by a guy who clearly has some shit going on in his head? That you want to be the one to help himsee whatever it is you think you see in him? That’s usually a dangerous game, though…”
It is. But why is it so bad to give someone a chance? “So your advice is to stay away.”
