Across from me, Dimitri and Ravelle sit close together, their goblets of blood catching the light. Ravelle is perched half-sideways in her chair, one leg draped lazily over Dimitri’s, her arm hooked on the back of his seat. Her crimson lips curvein a sly half-smile as she picks at a plate of fruit.
I lift my teacup and sip, letting the warmth chase the quiet through my chest. The past month has been a blur of research, old ruins, and fragments of Roxnos’sforgotten truths. Still, there has been laughter in between, banter traded over long nights, a sense of belonging I didn’t think I’d find again. I’m going to miss this when I leave, even if it’s only for a few days.
Dimitri’s silver gaze slides to me over the rim of his goblet. “Sleep well?”
“Better than I expected.”
Ravelle tilts her head. “That’s because you finally slept on a bed for once, instead of that awful couch in the library.”
I give her a small smile, though I can’t quite stop the heaviness that lingers. “Maybe.”
Dimitri shifts, his arm brushing against Ravelle’s where it rests along his chair. “You’ll be leaving tomorrow.”
“Yes.” My voice is soft, almost hesitant. I pick at the edge of my cup. I’m going to miss it here, yes, but another feeling thrums beneath it. Anticipation. Relief, even. Finally, I will see him again. Finally, I might even begin to untangle the knot in my chest.
Ravelle narrows her eyes knowingly, lips curling into a mischievous grin. “You’re thinking about him.”
Heat rises to my cheeks before I can stop it. “I…might be.”
She slaps Dimitri’s arm triumphantly. “Didn’t I say it? She’s absolutely smitten.”
His smirk doesn’t reach his eyes as he swirls the blood in his goblet. “I believeIsaid it first.” His gaze slides back to me. “And she’s been fighting it every step of the way.”
I groan. “You two are insufferable.”
“Yes, yes, we know,” Ravelle says breezily.
I exhale slowly, the words spilling before I can stop them. “Can I ask something personal?”
Dimitri raises an eyebrow, curiosity flickering in his eyes. “Go on.”
I hesitate. I’ve never told anyone exactly how hard the past twenty-eight years have been. Everyone knows I struggled with Kallan’sdeath, but they don’t understand the depth of the pain I have been carrying. No one knows how numb I became before Koen showed up. It’s hard for me to talk about my feelings, but I need their advice before I face him again.
"I’ve been struggling," I admit. "With Kallan...with myself. I loved him so much, and I still do. I never imagined loving anyone else. But now there’s Koen, and every time I let myself think about him, I feel like I’m betraying Kallan. I’m so tired of carrying this guilt...of feeling like I’ll never be able to move on without forgetting him. How do I move forward? How do I let myself consider someone new without feeling like I’m erasing him?"
Ravelle sets her goblet down with a soft clink, her tone gentler than usual. “You don’t betray the dead by choosing to live, Serenya. You keep what you had with him…it doesn’t vanish. But if you lock yourself away forever, you’ll betray yourself instead.”
Her words catch me off guard. My lips part, but no answer comes. I stare at my hands instead, fingers tracing the rim of my cup.
Dimitri’s voice is quieter when it comes. “You still love Kallan. That won’t change. But loving someone new doesn’t erase what was before.” He tips his head slightly, eyes narrowing. “And Koen…well, he doesn’tfeellike a stranger, does he?”
The air shifts, heavy and fragile all at once. Ravelle doesn’t tease this time. She only watches Dimitri. Then her lips twitch into the faintest grin as she turns back to me. “Honestly? From what I’ve heard of Koen, you’d be a fool not to at least try.”
Dimitri gives me a small smile. “She’s right. Give him a chance. He might surprise you.”
I swallow hard, blinking down at the cup in my hands. Maybe they’re right. Maybe love doesn’t have to be a grave I bury myself in. Maybe…just maybe…I can make space for Koen.
For the first time in a long while, I let that fragile spark flicker in the corners of my chest.
The next afternoon, I’m in my chambers, shadows following at my feet as I prepare to leave. A nervous excitement hums through me. In a few minutes, I will stand in Syltheriel again, face my people, andfinallysee him.
A knock sounds at the door.
When I open it, Dimitri leans lazily against the frame, a polished wooden box in his hands.
“Going somewhere?” Dimitri drawls.
“You know I am,” I reply, rolling my eyes.
