“I’m not sad anymore, but no, I didn’t love him. He was great but I was too immature to open my heart to him. What about you?”
“Married? No. I think I’ve always known I was queer. I publicly dated women in the early part of my career. I didn’t want anyone to know, and I’m still not out.”
“I picked up on that.”
He chuckles, scratching the stubble on his jaw. “Not because I’m ashamed. I’m not. But it’s a big deal in hockey. It would overshadow everything else, and some of the guys wouldn’t be okay with it.”
“That must be hard.”
“I’m used to it.”
“Are you gonna come out after you retire?”
“Not officially. Just gonna live my life.” His eyes settle on mine. “Do your brothers know about you?”
“Oh yeah. We’re all queer in some way. Not sure how that worked out, but it did.”
“That must feel… validating?”
“I suppose it does. I haven’t thought about how fortunate I am in a long time.”
Bouche studies my face for a moment before smiling. “Do you believe in astrology?”
“Like stars and shit?”
“No, like horoscopes and shit.”
“Oh.” I shrug. “Never thought about it. Why? Do you?”
“I didn’t used to. I thought it was all bullshit, but one of the guys on the team, his wife is really into it. He set us up to do this card reading thing with her before our season a couple of years ago. I played along and it was crazy accurate. I wanted to know more soshe did this whole birth chart thing. It was weird, because it felt like she knew me better than I knew myself. I kind of buy into it now.”
I nod. What an interesting trait. “What did you learn about yourself?”
“So, I’m an Aries. I was born in early April. I have strong natural ability, an independent streak, and I tend to take on a lot of responsibility. I can be bullheaded about taking on too much. I can be loyal to a fault, sometimes obsessive about my attention. It’s a blind spot.”
“You didn’t know that about yourself?”
“No, not really. It was like having a light shined on things I did. Made me more aware of my tendencies. What’s your sign?”
“I have no idea.”
“When’s your birthday?”
“February fifth.”
“Ah. An Aquarius. We have independence in common.”
“Yeah? What else?”
“Aquarius marches to their own drum and doesn’t like to be stifled or held back in any way. They can seem distant, but once they lock in, they’ll be fully devoted. You may tend to keep your emotional distance from people, even those you love or care for, out of fear of being hurt or abandoned.”
I chuckle at that. “I guess so. Do we make an ideal match?”
“Not really, no.” He grins at me. “Physically, yeah. Emotionally, it can be harder to connect. That said, there is a limit to how far astrology goes. In my opinion, it’s nothing more than insight. We’re all still capable of making our own choices.”
“Makes sense. So I’m not getting kicked out of your bed for being the wrong sign?”
He laughs, and the sound is nice. “I’m a lot of things, but a dumbass isn’t one of them.”
