Specter shrugs. “Maybe you’re right.”
“Very cryptic, boys,” Colson says, leaning on his man.
“We suspected,” Specter begins, lowering his voice even more, “that maybe there was a deeper connection between Stealth and Shadow.”
Colson nods. “That’s obvious.”
“What?” I ask.
“Granted, I don’t know Shadow well, but it’s been over a year and his demeanor completely shifts when he talks about Stealth. His concern is not brotherly and definitely not employer/employee focused. I’d guess he’s in love with Stealth.”
My jaw drops. I didn’t consider that. I thought it was perhaps an attraction, but love? If that’s the case, no wonder he feels such personal responsibility for what happened. He would have been closer to Stealth than any of us.
“Huh,” Specter says. “I wonder why they wouldn’t tell us if that’s true.”
“Maybe he doesn’t know,” Colson says. “Maybe neither of them do. Emotions are weird and confusing and complicated. We don’t always know what to do with them, right,mon tueur?”
“True.”
“But then he met Bellamy,” I add.
Colson scrunches his nose. “Like I said, feelings are complicated.”
Specter turns to his man. “You know why Bellamy left?”
Colson sort of nods, sort of shrugs. “And so does Shadow.”
“Spill it,danser,” I say. “He seemed head over heels in love with the boss.”
“He was. Is.” Colson steps closer and the three of us make a tight circle. “That was the problem. After you were shot, it really messed with him. He realized how dangerous this world is and he couldn’t bear the stress he felt after that.”
I pull my head back. “But Shadow rarely even goes out on a job.”
“I tried really hard to comfort him. After all, I was up close and personal to that situation. His fear of losing Shadow that way got to him and he couldn’t move past it.”
“And Shadow knows all that?” Specter asks.
“He does, and he handled it…” Colson tilts his head, considering his words. “Poorly.”
“What does that mean?” I ask.
“He completely shut down emotionally, put a huge wall up, and became very cold. He couldn’t find it in him to comfort or reassure Bellamy. My personal feeling is that he pushed him away on purpose. Maybe he thought it was better, or maybe?—”
“Maybe he was hurt.” Specter finishes the sentence. “Jesus. Shadow’s been through it.”
“Explains why Bellamy is a topic we can’t discuss.”
“Right,” Specter says, stroking Colson’s shoulder. “And now Stealth is coming home, which has probably got him worked up.”
I nod, rubbing my hands together. “I’ll check in. Sometimes he talks to me.”
“Good luck,” Specter says. “He’s been pretty shitty when I bring up Stealth or Bellamy.”
“Noted.”
I excuse myself and walk through the house to the study, where I find Shadow standing at a window, gazing outside, his hands shoved into the pockets of his joggers.
“What?” he asks, not turning around to address me.
