They weren’t friends. They weren’t exactly enemies, though, either.
What were they?
One word whispered through his mind, and he immediately pushed it out of his head, refusing to let it take hold.
“Let’s get you something to drink,” Emerson muttered, heading for the door.
Dash sat on the edge of Emerson’s bed, staring dumbfounded as the alpha walked away from him.
12
Emerson forced himself out of the cabin before he said anything else that might get him in trouble. He walked through the salon and opened the door out to the deck, the rain still falling hard. Drawing in a deep breath, he calmed his frayed nerves. What the fuck was wrong with him? What had he just said? There were a lot of confusing thoughts and feelings circling in his head—thoughts he’d had long before that night mixing with new ones now that he’d finally gotten Dash into his bed.
He’d suffered for months after the last time they’d been near one another. No man had ever laid claim to his mind like Dash had. Emerson could love ‘em and leave ‘em better than anyone he knew, yet a man he’dnever even fuckedhad had him in a fucking stranglehold for over half a year.
They barely knew one another—yet that wasn’t exactly true, either. From the first second he’d laid eyes on Dash, it had felt like they were long lost loves, finally rejoined after eons apart. His soul had known Dash’s, as if they were two halves of a whole.
During sex ed classes he’d taken what seemed like a million years ago, he’d learned that the soul connection and instinctiveprotective behavior were signs he might’ve met his mate—but that was only supposed to happen with anomegamate.
Dash wasn’t an omega.
He’dneverbelieved in the whole fated mates bullshit. How could he? It was the same system of rules that said hemustbe attracted to an omega. If it had been wrong about him and the hundreds of other alpha-attracted alphas who’d danced their nights away at the Dragon, there was no way it was right about fate sending him one perfect omega mate to love until the day he died.
Yet he’d sensed that connection with Dash that he couldn’t understand. Emerson had been unable to clear his mind of the man, even after months had passed without them seeing one another again. The need to see Dash had festered inside, demanding he go and claim the man as if he were an omega mate. He’d fucked other men instead, trying to rid himself of the obsession and failing spectacularly at it. All it had done was leave him feeling guilty, like he’d cheated.
Logically, he knew he hadn’t. Dash had sent him away, unwanted. They’d had no promises between them to break. Still, the shame persisted.
When Dash had judged him, it had nearly broken him.
It was then that he’d come to the realization that he belonged to Dash. Right, wrong, or otherwise, they were one another’s people.
After being intimate, he’d sensed the bond between them had strengthened.
How could two alphas have a bond at all, though? Was it wishful thinking on his part? Maybe he was completely out of his mind.
Proof he might actually be insane? While lying under Dash, all he could think about was filling the man with his seed and… getting him pregnant. It was an impossibility, but he’d closed hiseyes for a few seconds and seen Dash with a big, full belly—and it had pushed him to the edge of release.
The second Dash had taken his knot?
He’d nearly come on the spot.
Thank the gods Dash had finally come so he could let go.
After all was said and done, he’d realized what they’d done and the impossibility of it. He’dneverfantasized about that with another alpha. Not a single one.
Emerson didn’t want an omega. Alphas couldn’t get pregnant. Alpha couples, being illegal, couldn’t adopt or use surrogacy, either. Emerson would never know fatherhood, and that realization had long ago destroyed him.
Fantasizing about Dash being pregnant was him torturing himself.
Growing up in a large, happy family of eight kids, he wanted a piece of that for himself. Emerson had loved their chaotic little home, filled with noise and joy, when he’d been younger. His parents were amazing. They’d had plenty of love to share with them all. Not once had he felt unloved as a child, even being one of eight.
He’d never pass that same love on to children of his own.
Yet it was one thing to want to be a father and another to actively fantasize about impregnating an alpha he was intimate with.
But then, maybe he’d never been with a man he’d deemed worthy to give him children before. As if an alpha could.
Why couldn’t they be different men—and be together as they clearly were meant to be?
