“I tried hiding who I was for a long time. Ignored my needs. Avoided the alphas who glanced my way with a knowing look,” Emerson said. “But I’m not built to live like that. Ineedconnection. I need to touch another person and to feelsomethingbesides emptiness.”
Emerson closed the gap another step.
“Being completely alone for years on end nearly broke me,” Emerson said, his throat tightening before the words had fully fallen from his lips. “It was a meaningless,hollowexistence, and I wouldn’t have survived it much longer.”
Dash’s brows furrowed as he held Emerson’s gaze.
“That emptiness is a hell of a lot more terrifying than what happened tonight,” Emerson murmured. “So, yeah. I go,over and over again,knowing the risk involved.” He shrugged. “Live fast, die young.”
Dash’s expression softened, and Emerson thought he saw understanding in the man’s eyes… and perhaps a hint of recognition.
“This boat was my uncle’s. He left it to me when he passed. While going through his shit, I found outhewas alpha-attracted, too—at least, I assume he was. He had some old alpha-alpha porn magazines locked in a cabinet—and a few photos stashed in there, too. Alphas huddled together, smiling with their arms linked. A couple of them were kissing. Written on the back was,‘The Dragon’ and a date. I stared at that photo, and all I saw was love. A fellowship of men who understood one another.Community.And Ilongedto have a little piece of that for myself.”
“How did you find it? The Dragon, that is.”
“A few years after I stumbled across those photos, I changed stations. Not long after, I realized one of the men in the photos lookedan awful lotlike a younger version of my new captain.” Emerson chuckled, the sound almost hollow to his own ears. “It took me months to get up the nerve to ask him if he knew my uncle. A lot more to ask what the Dragon was.”
“I’m sure that terrified him,” Dash murmured. “To be confronted with his secret.”
“Oh, yeah. I suspect he thought I was about to turn him in, but I assured him I wasn’t. I finally had to admit I was alpha-attracted, too, before he’d calm down.” Emerson crossed his arms over his chest but dropped them with as wet as his clothes were. “Can wepleasedry off before we go down this miserable road any farther? I don’t want to be coldandsad.”
“Yeah,” Dash replied, a hint of a smile on his lips.
Emerson took a few backward steps to ensure Dash was following him that time. He spun after a few seconds and marched towards his cabin. After flipping on the light, he fished a couple of clean towels out of the laundry basket on his bed. He tossed one over before drying off his hair, then watched as Dash did the same. After a swipe across his face, he kicked off his shoes and peeled his soaked shirt over his head.
“Ah,”Dash said before spinning around, putting his back to Emerson like he was embarrassed. “What’re you doing?”
“I’m not staying in these wet things.”
“Can’t you wait until I leave the room?” Dash asked.
“Nothing more than either of us have done in a locker room or the showers surrounded by other men.”
Dash winced, averting his eyes as he backed towards the door. “I’ll leave you to it.”
“Never seen a naked man before?” Emerson asked, grinning.
Dash lingered halfway in and out of the room, suggesting he didn’t really want to leave. “Not this particular naked man, no.”
Emerson’s grin grew wider as he undid his jeans.
“Emerson,”Dash said, the muscles in his neck straining. He was fighting a peek awful damned hard, Emerson was sure of it.
“You should get out of your wet things, too,” Emerson murmured. “You’ll catch your death.”
“Nothappening,” Dash muttered, staring at the floor.
“Hey, if you’d rather spend the night wearing soaked clothes instead of borrowing something warm and dry, be my guest.”
“You’re too big,” Dash said. “Your clothes wouldn’t fit me.”
“You’re notthatfar off. I’m sure we can find something that could work,” Emerson said, kicking out of his jeansandbriefs.
He stood completely naked in front of Dash, desperate for the alpha to look at him.
Seehim.
All of him.
