“They acceptedyou,”Dash said. “Me? I may be a bridge too far.”
“They welcomed Cassidy with open arms,” Emerson said. “You haven’t even given them a chance yet.”
“Nor have you, you hypocrite!”Dash snapped.
Emerson’s eyes widened and for a second, Dash expected a roar of anger. A look of shame crossed his face instead. He sat quietly for a few seconds. “You’re right. I haven’t given them the chance. I’ll be correcting that soon.”
“I didn’t mean to force you int?—”
“You’re not forcing me to do anything but look at myself in the mirror,” Emerson said. “Iwasbeing a hypocrite. I have no right to tell you how to live your life when I can barely handle things in my own.”
Dash looked at Emerson with suspicion. He wasn’t accustomed to winning an argument so easily. He wasn’t exactly sure how to react.
“You never finished telling me what happened with the Guard… when you found out you were a hybrid.”
Dash would’ve been happy not recounting it but felt he needed to. Not for Emerson completely—but for himself, too. Perhaps it would release a little of the bottled rage he stored within. “We completed our task with minimal loss. Loaded the omegas onto one helo and sent them on their way while awaiting a second en route to carry us and our prisoners. Before it could arrive, it was shot down by the clan. There was a firefight. Both the chieftain and his son were taken down by their own men. We barely escaped ourselves.” Dash sighed. “We knew it was too dangerous for our handlers to send in another transport, so we headed for one of our black sites where we could contact HQ for a pickup. We walked for two and a half days through rugged terrain, only stopping to sleep for an hour or two.”
“Fuck,”Emerson muttered, his brows deeply furrowed.
“The entire time we walked, I felt off. I assumed it was simply fatigue from the fight—yearsof fighting, honestly—but I started to worry it was more than that as the days progressed. By the time we got to HQ, we were debriefed and checked over. The doc said I was a bit dehydrated but gave me a clean bill of health. I went to the showers to wash off days of sweat and grime with Aiden, the fourth member of our team, while Jackson and Mason were still getting checked over.”
Dash paused to collect himself. He’d never told this story to anyone. Those who knew had been a witness to his shame and he’d never had to explain much. “I entered the shower, and this wave hit me. I fell to my knees, doubled over in agony. My gut was in knots—but there was this raw ache deep inside that I’d never experienced before coupled with it.”
He scrubbed his face with both hands, the memory of what came next still haunted him. “Need unlike anything I’d ever felt before. Suddenly, Aiden was on top of me, naked, and he shovedme flat onto the tiled floor, face first. I felt him—hardand rubbing against me. I fought him off, but whatever had hit left me weakened. I did everything I could to get away from him.” Dash winced. “But I was no match. He flipped me over like a rag doll. I looked up into his eyes—and it was like he was a crazed animal.Hewasn’t there anymore. Something else had taken over. He pinned me to the floor with ease. Jackson was the first one to hear my screams. He ripped Aiden off me. They fought. It was vicious. Mason rushed in a few minutes later and was able to knock Aiden out.”
“Jackson really did save you that day, hmm?”
Dash nodded.
“If he’d played the hero, why did it feel so combative between you two outside?”
That was harder for Dash to put into words. He paused to consider the best way to explain. “In the moment, I don’t think any of us truly understood what had just happened. Later, Jackson and Mason told me they assumed it was something wrong with Aiden—notsomething with me. That first heat was mild compared to some of the later ones, so I guess I seemed unaffected. Mason threw Aiden over one shoulder and took him to the clinic—while Jackson stayed to make sure I was okay.”
Dash felt Emerson tense against him.
“Jackson asked me what happened. I barely had time to answer before he apparently caught my scent. I don’t know if it was the adrenaline that had blocked it while he was fighting Aiden or what, but he later told me he’d not noticed until we were alone. After he did, he stalked closer with lust in his eyes. I scrambled away from him, but that only seemed to make things worse. He chased me through the locker room and eventually caught me. He dragged me against him. I didn’t have the strength to break his hold, so I pleaded with him to stop.”
Dash paused, trying to control his reaction. “I begged him. Somehow, my words seem to sink through the fog. My pleas hadn’t worked on Aiden, but they did with Jackson. He fought against the lust, although the need to rut nearly won.” Dash drew in a deep, cleansing breath. “After seeing one of my best friends look at me like that and how it made me fee—” Dash shook his head. He hated admitting how afraid he’d been that day. Voicing it might further change how Emerson thought of him. “It made it hard to look him in the eye afterwards. It strained our friendship to the point of breaking.”
“Because you felt ashamed,” Emerson said.
Dash’s gaze locked on Emerson’s. His words hadn’t been a question but said as if statement of fact. “I never said I felt ashamed.”
“You didn’t have to. I can see it on your face,” Emerson said, his voice quiet. “It’s the same look you gave me right after we finished last night.”
“Finished?”Dash asked, wriggling on Emerson’s lap.“Thisisn’t what finished looks like.”
“You’re trying to deflect,” Emerson murmured.
Dash glared at Emerson. “Iwasn’tashamed.”
One of Emerson’s eyebrows rose.
“Okay, maybe there was some shame there. But what would you have felt after living your entire life as an alpha to suddenly go into heat in front of yourentire team?”
“I likely would’ve been shocked—and embarrassed, too.”
“Exactly,so don’t try to make me feel bad for it,” Dash snapped.
