Her heart had clenched the moment he’d said it, his voice raw with something that had almost convinced her. But when she had pressed him, he had hesitated.
And hesitation was not enough.
Not for marriage.
Not for a lifetime.
If there was one thing she knew, it was that a forced proposal, a reluctant proposal, would ruin both of them in the end.
She had never wanted one from Marsden. And she couldn’t—wouldn’t—accept one from Ash either.Especiallynot from Ash.
A soft knock at the door made her jump.
Heart pounding, she shoved the letter she had just finished into the drawer of the writing desk, smoothing her hands down the front of her gown.
“Come in,” she called, just as the door pushed open.
Meredith stepped inside, her brows drawn together in concern. “I came to check on you,” she said carefully.
Clare forced a bright smile, one that felt like it might shatter at the edges. “What do you mean? I’m fine.” She gave her head a little shake.
Even to her own ears, the words rang false.
Meredith’s gaze sharpened. She stepped closer, watching her too closely.
“You haven’t seemed yourself lately,” Meredith said gently.
Clare turned away.
She didn’t want Meredith to see the guilt on her face.
“Oh, perhaps I’ve been a bit tired,” she deflected, standing and moving toward the bed, brushing an invisible wrinkle from the sheets. “But as I’m not the one carrying a babe, I’m loath to complain.” She turned, forcing another too-bright smile.
Meredith rubbed her belly with a soft chuckle. “Oh, complain all you like,” she teased. “Heaven knows I intend to.”
Clare huffed a laugh—one that wasn’t entirely real.
Meredith’s smile faded slightly as she stepped back toward the door, but then she hesitated. “Are you certain there’s nothing bothering you?” she asked. “Griffin and I both got the distinct impression that you and Ash had…words the other night.”
Clare’s stomach dropped.
Oh, no.
Of course Meredith had noticed.
It wasn’t the first time she and Ash had left dinner at the same time—had disappeared into a dimly lit corridor or an empty room. Her friends weren’t fools.
Clare swallowed hard, forcing her voice into something steady, if not entirely believable. “I’m fine. Truly.”
No matter how much she might want to, she couldn’t tell Meredith the truth. Couldn’t tell her that she’d been sleeping with her brother, that she was leaving forever, that Ash had asked her to marry him, and she had refused. Meredith didn’t deserve the burden of any of that news. Especially not in her condition.
Guilt clawed at Clare though. How would Meredith feel when she learned the truth? The part about her leaving, at least. Meredith would try to talk her out of it. Clare knew that much. It was another reason she’d decided not to share her plans.
Meredith sighed. “I expect you’re not looking forward to going back to the countryside with your mother.”
Clare let out a relieved breath.A perfect excuse.
“You’re right,” she said quickly, exhaling in a rush.
