Gemma turned toward him and placed a cold hand on his shoulder. Her voice held a note of steely resolve. “You want a child with me. But I will not allow a child of mine to be treated as if they are nothing more than a possession.”
Lucian’s jaw clenched so hard it popped. What was she trying to say? Was she pushing him away? She still wanted the divorce, didn’t she? She was using this as an excuse. It was clear as day. “We have a contract,” he growled.
She quickly drew back her hand as if it had been burned. “I know we have a contract. I’m asking for an amendment to it.” Fire flashed in her dark eyes and her voice was angry.
His eyes narrowed. “What sort of amendment?” What was she getting at? What did she want?
“If we have a child…I don’t want him to be subjected to the sort of treatment that…”
Lucian slashed his arms through the air. “You make it sound as if I was beaten.”
Gemma tossed back the covers and stood, glaring at him from the side of the bed, her hands on her hips. “You might as well have been. If your parents withheld affection. If they?—”
Lucian ripped the covers back and stood too. His hands were clenched into tight fists at his sides as he glared at her from the opposite side of the bed. “My parents have nothing to do with us.”
“Yes, they do! I don’t want our child to be kept away from me when he is young. I want to hold him and hug him and kiss him and tell him I love him every day.”
Lucian paced away from the bed. Dark spots of anger covered his eyes. Who the hell had told her about his parents? And why had he trusted that she was allowing him to get closer to her? He’d been fooled into thinking she was letting him in. He was almost happy, a foreign feeling. One he’d thought he was enjoying. But now he realized thathewasn’t the one who’d been acting.She was. Her actions these last two weeks had all been an act. Performed by an actress who had no intention of staying in their marriage. She still intended to leave him, which was whyshe’d gone messing about in the servants’ hall, digging up gossip to use to renegotiate their contract.
Damn it. He pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes. He’d been a fool. This was no more than he deserved. For believing even for a moment that Gemma’s feelings for him were real. And the worst part was that…all along, his despicable father had actually beenright. Lucian should have kept Gemma at arm’s length.One doesn’t fall in love with one’s wife. Love wasn’t an emotion for the Grovemont heir. His father had warned him. But Lucian had been too blinded to listen.
“There will be no renegotiation!” His words came out as nearly a yell. The panic and pain clawing at his chest made him fearful, loud.
Gemma’s next words came from somewhere behind him, and they were filled with anger too. “What are you saying? Youwantour children to be raised like you were? Without love?”
“I’m saying there will be no renegotiation,” he shot through his clenched jaw, turning to glare at her again.
Gemma grabbed her dressing gown and pulled it on. She waved a hand in the air toward the bed. “This has all been an act. You’ve only been pretending to be nice to me to make me stay, haven’t you? You didn’t want the divorce because of your precious reputation. You don’t care about me or the child we might have.”
Lucian grabbed his breeches and quickly pulled them on. Oh, how clever of her. Accusing him of doing the exact thingshewas doing. “If anyone is an actress, it’s you. I’m leaving.”
“You are heartless!” she cried.
“You’re right,” he ground out. “Iamwithout a heart. Don’t forget it.” And wasn’t it better that way? Less painful? He turned on his heel and stalked from the room.
O
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Later That Morning, Bond Street
“Just one more stop, Mr. Bigley,” Gemma called through the window to the coachman. “Madame Renard’s, if you please.”
She was on her way home. She’d taken Anna and gone out shopping today. Anything to keep her mind off her argument with Lucian this morning.
The man was beyond frustrating. Just when she’d begun to open up to him. Just when she’d begun tohopethat perhaps he was able to be a good husband, the kind of husband she’d dreamed about, he’d gone and said all of those awful things this morning. He wasn’t even trying to hide the truth any longer. He’d admitted he had no heart. He’d said as much!
She couldn’t regret bringing up his parents though. She’d known she was betraying Mrs. Howard’s trust by mentioning it, even if she hadn’t shared the housekeeper’s name. But Gemma had seen no other way to directly address her concerns. And her concerns had grown until they overpowered her, until she could think of nothing else.
Now she realized that in bringing up her fears, she’d escaped an awful fate—the fate of believing that Lucian was a kind, loving man, when, in reality, he was as cold-hearted and indifferent as she’d always feared. If she hadn’t brought it up, she might never have seen his true character. He might have gone on pretending to be loving and kind for the rest of their contract. Only to stop the act after it was too late for her to leave with everything she’d been promised.
Hewasa cold, indifferent man, and she would do well to remember that. It was truly chilling that he’d been able to pretend otherwise for as long as he had.
The coach pulled to a stop in front of the milliner’s shop. When the footman folded down the steps, Anna made to accompany Gemma into the store.
“Oh, don’t get up, Anna. I’ll just be a moment,” she said. “I’m only picking up an order.”
The footmen could do it for her, of course, but Gemma was restless. She wanted to get out of the coach and walk a bit. In fact, she wished she could run all the way to Hyde Park and keep running. To get away from the life she was trapped in for at least six more weeks.
