His head bowed. His voice was ragged. “I’m sorry, Meredith. If I could go back in time and change it all, I?—”
“No.” She shook her head and swallowed. “You were right. Father didn’t love me. I never should have married Maxwell. You were right about all of it.”
Griffin approached her bed and stood at the foot of it. “Damn it. I don’t want to be right. I wantyou, Meredith. I’ve always wanted you. You know I love you. I think you love me too. I have to believe your awful marriage to Maxwell cannot be the only reason you refuse to marry again. You know I would treat you much better than he did.”
She nodded, dabbing at her cheeks with the sleeve of her night rail. “You’re right. It’s not the only reason.”
“That’s why I’m here.” He grabbed the poster of the bed with one hand. “You’re pushing me away because you don’twantto feel anything. Don’t you see that, Mere? Denying a thing doesn’t make it untrue.” He took a deep breath. “You can send me away again, but I need to knowwhy. I need a reason, Meredith, and I need to hear it from you.”
“Griffin, I—” Her voice broke on a sob. “I can’t.”
His face hardened. “You say you don’t wish to marry. But I need to know…is that anyone, or specificallyme?”
Meredith tried to swallow past the enormous lump in her throat. She closed her eyes. She’d known this wouldn’t be easy, but it was excruciating. “You need a wife andchildren,Griffin. We can still find someone for you. Someone who wants to marry…and have children.”
His eyes narrowed on her, and he searched her face. “I don’t understand. You don’t want children? Is that it?”
She blinked away fresh tears. “No. No. That’s not true,” she whispered.
In two steps, he was at her side. He lowered himself to sit on the mattress beside her and grabbed her cold hands. “You could be with child right now, Meredith.My child.”
She closed her eyes again and tears leaked from beneath the lids. “No, that’s not poss— I know I’m not.”
His voice was a desperate plea. “Then what is it? I need to hear you say that you don’t loveme.”
Another sob caught in her throat. Her heart was breaking into a thousand pieces. “I can’t say that, Griffin.”
“Then why?Whywon’t you marry me? I deserve to know the truth.”
Meredith closed her eyes. He was right. She had to tell him. She had to. “If I tell you why, you must promise to go. There will be no dispute. It isnotup for debate.”
There were a few harrowing moments of silence before one word came out of his mouth. “Fine.”
She opened her eyes and stared directly into his. She expelled her breath. “I’m barren, Griffin. That’s why Maxwell and I never had children. And that’s why Icannotmarry you. Iwon’tallow you to throw away the possibility of an heir, even for love.”
His eyes were wide as he searched her face. He shook his head vehemently. “Meredith, I don’t care. I?—”
“No!” she shouted. “This is why I didn’t tell you before. I knew you would say that. And Iwill notbe the reason the Southbury dukedom has no heir.” She ripped her hands away from his. “I told you what you came here for. Now, if you truly love me, I need you to do something for me, Griffin.”
“Anything,” he whispered brokenly.
She pointed toward the door. “Go. Just go.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Five Days Later, The Duchess of Maxwell’s Drawing Room
“Youcannotwrite me a letter like that andnotexpect me to show up at your doorstep,” Clare Handleton said as she was ushered into Meredith’s drawing room.
Meredith watched her friend with eyes wide. “What are you doing here, Clare? How did you manage to escape from your mother?”
Clare waved an unconcerned hand in the air. “Mother thinks I’m visiting Aunt Este in Devon, and until she writes Aunt Este and receives a reply to the contrary, she won’t know any different.”
Meredith gasped. “You lied to your mother?”
“It wasn’t the first time,” Clare said with a wink. “And I’m certain it won’t be the last. I’m quite adept at it these days, actually.” She settled onto the sofa next to Meredith. “Now, tell meeverything.”
An hour later,after finishing off a pot of tea and an indecent number of scones with clotted cream, Meredith had imparted the entire tale to Clare, including the debacle at the Onyx Club and everything that had happened since.Everything. She spared no detail.
