“You’ve known it since we were children,” she said on a sob against his shoulder.
Ash pulled back and nodded, his face grim. “Which is how I know how awful it is.”
Meredith took a deep breath. Ash was telling the truth. He had never lied to her. And deep down, she’d always known that she’d had to try too hard to get the slightest bit of approval from their father.
Tears poured down her cheeks. Her heart felt as if it might burst in two, and she realized the only reason she was crying was because the illusion she’d clung to fiercely for years was finally gone. And she was free to despise her father just as Ash did.
Ash was right. The man who’d given them both life hadn’t loved them. He probably hadn’t even liked them. He didn’t even know them. How could he love them? He’d rarely come home. Rarely spoken to them. He’d treated both of his children like little more than furniture. Just two more possessions that he owned and could do with as he pleased. And Griffin had always known it too.
“You and Griffin always saw him for who he was, Ash,” Meredith sobbed. “I was a fool.”
“You cannot blame yourself for that, Meredith. You saw who you wanted to see. A good father. But that man never existed.”
Meredith nodded. Shehadseen who she’d wanted to see—a widower who’d been lost after losing his wife. A man forced to raise two children alone and who’d done as much as he could. A loving father who only wanted the best for his son and daughter. But he was none of those things.
A memory flashed across her mind. A vision of the pure anger that had played across the lines of her father’s face the night she’d tried to challenge him about her marriage to Maxwell. That harsh, unforgiving look in his eye. How manytimes had her mother seen that look before her death? It was too awful to contemplate.
Meredith pulled out of her brother’s arms and pressed a palm to her roiling gut. “I’m sorry, Ash.”
Ash frowned. “For what?” He pulled a handkerchief out of his coat pocket and handed it to her.
Meredith took the handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes. “For not listening to you all these years. For trying to convince you that Father loved us. He was…horrid.”
Ash nodded. “Yes. He was. But that’s why I’m here.” Ash rubbed the back of his hand across his forehead. “Don’t let Father make your life any worse than he already did when he sold you off to Maxwell. You have a chance for real love now, Meredith. Take it.”
The hint of a sad smile curled her lips as she continued to dab at her wet eyes. “Youbelieve in love, Ashford Drake?”
“No,” Ash replied with a similar hint of a smile on his lips. “Of course not. Not for me. But forSouthbury…absolutely.”
A vise clenched Meredith’s heart. Her brother didn’t understand. How could he? “It doesn’t matter, Ash. I still cannot marry Griffin.”
Ash dipped his head low enough to catch her gaze. “Look, Meredith. You’re scared of love. Believe me, I understand, but?—”
“No, it’s not because I’m scared of love.” She wasn’t about to tell her brother she was barren. What good would it do? Just like Griffin and his mother, Ash would only try to deny that it mattered. It wouldn’t change anything, and she couldn’t bear to see Ash look at her with pity.
“Meredith, please.”
“There’s nothing left to say. I’ve made up my mind. You’re wasting your breath.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Later That Night, The Duke of Southbury’s Study
If he thought brandy would do a damn thing to help, Griffin would be three sheets to the wind by now. But brandy never helped. And he knew for certain it wouldn’t help this.
Ash, however, had no such qualms. The marquess had just poured himself a glass and taken a seat in the large leather chair across from Griffin’s desk.
“What is your plan?” he asked, as if he were merely inquiring about Griffin’s next move in a simple game of billiards.
Griffin frowned at him. “Plan?”
Ash braced his elbows on the arms of the chair and settled in. “You have a plan, don’t you? To make things right with Meredith. Youalwayshave a plan.”
Griffin swallowed. This awful feeling in his chest. This nausea that wouldn’t go away. This feeling of being broken. This is what it felt like to know he’d ruined his friendship with Meredith.
“Seems I’m fresh out of plans,” he growled at his best friend.
“Fine then. That’s why I’m here.” Ash took a sip of his drink. “Though I must say, between the two of you, you’ll turn me into a drunkard.”
