He’d rushed home, knowing Meredith would have to live in mourning for a full year, but intent on setting things straight and declaring himself the moment he could. Onlywhen he came home, Meredith promptly informed him that sheneverintended to marry again.
And so he’d settled into life by her side once more. Content to be in her company if he could not hold her in his arms. Hopeful that one day, somehow, some way, she would change her mind.
Patience. More patience.
But now she was pushinghimto marry. And he couldn’t marry anyone but her. He’d told her as much last night. She had to have known he meanther. And this time, she’d run away from him.
It didn’t matter. He didn’t know how he would tell her or what he would say. He didn’t know how she would react or how he would explain everything. For the first time in his life, he didn’t have a plan.
But there was one thing Griffin knew for certain. It was bloody well time to tell Meredith the truth. At last.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Tuesday Night, The Duchess of Maxwell’s Drawing Room
The dinner for Gemma had finished not an hour ago, and after seeing all their guests to the door, Meredith and Griffin both retired to the drawing room to sit down and rest for the first time all evening.
Meredith was exhausted. In addition to being hostess for the evening, she hadn’t slept a wink in three nights. Ever since the Hemworths’ ball, she’d only been able to think about one thing.
Griffin was madly in love.
With her.
He may not have said it. But that’s because she hadn’t allowed him to. Instead, she’d run away like a coward. Because she still couldn’t let him say it. He couldnotlove her. He needed to love someone who could give him children, who could produce the heir to the dukedom, who could be free to love him back.
And that was the worst part. Lately, in the dead of night, when she was alone with her thoughts, she’d begun tosuspect that shedidlove him back. She hadn’t put much faith in love before. She’d never had a reason to. But with Griffin, it was easy, effortless even.
But even if they loved each other, it didn’t change anything.
She could do nothing to encourage his feelings. In fact, she needed to dissuade him from the notion. She needed to tell him in no uncertain terms that he must pick another lady and marry her. Even though the thought made her feel sick. Not to mention, Griffin’s marriage might very well put a stop to their close friendship. Itshouldput a stop to it. And that was a frightening thought. Griffin had always been there for her. Since childhood. Even the years he’d been gone to war, he’d written her as often as he could. She’d always known he was there. How would she ever learn to live without him?
Thank heavens she’d had the dinner party to concentrate on these last few days. If she hadn’t been spending so much time planning the perfect evening, she might have gone mad. The party had been a welcome distraction. And fortunately, tonight had been a success.
“Thank you for the lovely dinner,” Griffin said as he fell onto the dark-blue sofa cushion next to Meredith.
The butler delivered two glasses of port wine and took his leave. A few candles were scattered about the room, but otherwise Griffin and Meredith sat in quiet and darkness. It was heavenly after all the activity of the evening.
“Do you truly think Gemma enjoyed herself?” Meredith asked, lifting the wine glass to her lips.
Griffin took a sip from his glass and then turned it round and round with his fingers. “She seemed to. Did you get any notion that she preferred any one of the gentlemen?”
“I truly thought Pembroke might be the chap for her, butnow I’m not certain. He does seem to be quite smitten with her.”
“You’re right. She didn’t appear to be particularly enamored of Pembroke,” Griffin agreed.
“I shall pay her a call tomorrow and ask, of course,” Meredith said with a tired smile.
“Of course,” Griffin replied with a nod. He took a deep breath. “Give me your feet.” He set his glass on the table beside him and pointed toward Meredith’s slippers.
Meredith dutifully kicked off her slippers and allowed Griffin to pull her feet into his lap. He began to massage her toes.
“Oh, my,” she moaned. “That feels delightful. I had no idea you could do that with your hands.” But then she blushed all the way down to her bodice.
A wicked grin popped to his lips.
Meredith closed her eyes and groaned as Griffin worked his thumb into the center of one of her stockinged feet. Oh, dear, perhaps she shouldn’t have allowed him to do this. It was making her feel warm in far too many places.
“I’m glad you’re enjoying it,” Griffin said.
