Julian bowed his head, then nodded.
He glanced up at her again and rubbed his thumb against her high cheekbone, wiping away one delicate tear. “Damn me to hell. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
And that was true, but it didn’t matter.
He stood and made his way to the door, then he turned back to Miss Bunbury. “I’m sorry.”
CHAPTER THIRTY
Cass took her time dressing the next morning. She sent back every gown her maid presented to her. The gowns didn’t matter, any one of them would have been fine. The truth was that she didn’t want to face Julian. And each thing she accomplished to get ready to go downstairs and see him would bring her that much closer to her moment of reckoning. A moment she dreaded.
It was time. Finally time to face the truth and take the consequences. She knew that. It was over.
First, however, she had to find Garrett. He’d had something to tell her last night. She’d been rude to him, rushing off like that. If she’d known what was going to happen, she wouldn’t have rushed. Would have lingered, actually. Oh, it had been a disaster. She’d tried to find Garrett after the debacle in the library but he was nowhere to be found and neither was Lucy. Instead, she’d gone up to bed and thought about how detestable she was. How much Julian was going to despise her once she told him the truth. Eventually, she’d fallen into an exhausted slumber, one that left her fitful and dreaming about Julian berating her for lying to him and marrying another woman. Her worst nightmare. It was all about to come true and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She could only delay the inevitable.
She stared at her pale reflection in the looking glass. Julian had told her she was the most beautiful woman in the world last night. Hadn’t that once been her dream? But he hadn’t said those words toher.No, Patience Bunbury was the most beautiful woman in the world, Patience Bunbury, the woman who didn’t exist. The reflection disgusted her. How could such a simple pretty face mask such ugliness and lies? She scrubbed her hands savagely across her face as if she could wipe away her looks, replace them with the mask of ugliness she knew she deserved after what she’d done. Julian was honorable and noble right up to the end. He’d been the one to stop, not her. Oh, no. She might have gone on kissing him all night, the lying little hoyden that she was.
She’d cried last night in front of him. That was poorly done also. But she hadn’t been crying for the reason he thought. He probably believed she was sad because Patience had developed atendrefor him. But the truth was she’d been crying because she knew he couldn’t kiss Patience because he still loved someone else, someone who was not Patience, and not Cass, someone whose eyes she wanted to scratch out.
Regardless, she must stop being a coward. She had to face Julian today. First, she’d find Garrett and see what was so urgent. Then, she’d find Julian. She would find him and finally tell him the truth. It was time. No matter what. No more hiding. No more lies.
Her maid returned with one more gown, a simple white one. “This one, miss?”
White, the symbol of purity, light, innocence, hardly a color she should wear today, sinner that she was. But if she was going to battle that devil who liked to pop up on her shoulder, she would need all the reinforcement she could get. “Yes, that one will be fine, Maria. I’m sorry I’ve been such a bother this morning.”
She stared back at her reflection in the looking glass once more. Patience? Cass? Whoever she was. It was finally time to face the truth.
***
Cass had just started down the stairway when a large commotion in the foyer caught her attention. There appeared to be a great many people there, all of them raising their voices.
She hurried down far enough to see the occupants of the space and caught her breath. She braced a hand against the bannister to steady herself. There, in the foyer with Lucy, Jane, Garrett, and a half-dozen servants, stood her parents. Owen wasn’t there. And neither was Julian, thank God. But… She leaned down to get a closer look.
Penelope was with them.
Cass’s heart thumped. Danger. That’s what this was.Danger, danger, danger.Every nerve in her body screamed at her to flee. Instead, she remained rooted to the spot, her shaking hand frozen to the bannister.
“I demand to see my daughter,” her mother, Lady Moreland, said.
“Yes, where is Cassandra? Bring her here this instant,” her father added.
Lucy kept glancing around nervously. “If you’d all just come into the drawing room, I’ll be happy to fetch Cass and we can all discuss this like civilized adults and—”
“Cassandra? Cassandra is here?”
Cass closed her eyes slowly and swallowed. She couldn’t see the person who’d just said those words but she knew him just the same.
Julian.
Julian strode forward then. Apparently he’d happened upon the scene in the foyer just as she had.
“Who areyou?” Cass’s mother demanded of Julian.
“Why, Auntie, don’t you remember him? That is Captain Swift,” Penelope offered.
Cass’s mother’s eyes went wide. “Captain Swift?”
“Captain Swift?” her father echoed.
