Jane opened her mouth to retort. Upton held up a hand to stop her. “Allow me to finish, please.”
She snapped her mouth shut.
“Not only are you doing that, but you’ve involved my friend Lord Berkeley in your scandalous behavior.”
She opened her mouth again.
Garrett wagged a finger. “I’m not finished.”
She shut her mouth.
“And finally, I happen to know that this entire scheme is one that is extremely ill-advised. Do you care to knowhowI know that?”
More glaring from Jane. She crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her slipper along the rug. “Oh, do tell. I’m on tenterhooks.” She managed a fake yawn.
He continued undaunted. “Because first, you did not invite me, which means you did not want me to know about it. If you did not want me to know about it, it is because you’re all doing something you should not be doing and knew I would not play along.”
He paused to solicit her reaction. She merely shrugged. It would be a frigid day in Hades before she gave Upton the satisfaction of knowing he was right. About anything.
“Secondly,” he continued. “Lucy and Cassandra are using assumed names, and while I admire Lucy’s vivid imagination and flair for the dramatic, I can only imagine what sort of nonsense involves false names.”
Jane merely rolled her eyes this time.
“Thirdly, without exactly coming out and saying as much, Lucy has intimated to me that she may or may not be with child. Lucy’s never not just come out and said anything in her life. If she’s being subtle, it’s not true, and if it’s not true, I must ask myself why she wants me to believe it’s true.”
Jane pressed her lips together and blinked at him. She had heard of people playing cards and keeping their faces completely blank in an effort to keep their opponent from guessing at their hand. She had tried it with Lady Hoppington upon occasion during one of that matron’s infamous rounds of whist. But she’d never been quite certain if it had worked. At the moment, however, Jane so hoped she was doing an admirable job of keeping her hand secret.
“Finally,” Upton continued. “Youhave arrived upon my doorstep. And seeing as how you’d rather be boiled in oil like one of the martyrs than voluntarily seek out my company, I can only assume you have been sent by Lucy to ensure my compliance with your charade or to ask that I stay away.” He flashed a grin at her. “Am I right?”
Jane had whisked off her gloves to contemplate her fingernails. “Oh, are you finished? I’d stopped paying attention quite a while ago.” She smiled at him tightly.
“I’m finished. Now, answer my question.”
Confound it. Upton was too wise by half. The man knew exactly what they were up to. He’d been Lucy’s cousin and close friend her entire life; no doubt nothing she did surprised him. Blast Cass for sending her on this doomed mission.
Jane took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. “It is true that Lucy is hosting a house party at Upbridge Hall and that Berkeley has been invited.”
Upton paced around her, making her bristle. He was too close. She could smell his cologne and it smelled… not unpleasant.
“What I cannot figure out,” he said, “is why you’re doing it. Why would you say Cass is someone named Patience Bunbury and Lucy is Lady Worthing?”
Jane turned and stared him straight in the eye. “You got one thing wrong, Upton.Iam also pretending to be someone I’m not. Miss Wollstonecraft.” She ignored his deeply sarcastic look. “As for why we are doing it… it’s for fun. You know all about fun, Upton, don’t you? Or isn’t being a drunken rake much fun these days?”
He arched a brow at her. “I’ll ignore that.”
“Please don’t.”
“No matter. I intend to find out exactly what you’re all up to when I arrive at the house party tonight.”
Jane struggled to keep her face blank. She closed one eye and pressed a fingertip to her eyebrow. “I beg your pardon?”
“I said I intend to come over and see for myself.”
“You’re not invited.” Hmm. Perhaps not particularly brilliant, but they were the first words that came to mind.
He gave her another long-suffering look. “Aren’t I?”
“No.”
