Veronica placed her free hand on her hip. “I know it. Because it’s like Grandpapa told me once. Love is a choice you make every day. And if you decide to love someone, you’ll give her your entire heart.”
Justin shook his head. “Damn it, Veronica. Grandpapa told you that because you were being a fool, refusing to reconcile with Edgefield.”
Veronica looked unimpressed. “And you’re being a fool now. I fail to see the difference.”
“It’s entirely different,” he insisted.
“Tell me. Tell me how it’s different.” His sister blinked at him and gave him a beatific smile.
Growling, he scrubbed at his hair again. “For Christ’s sake, Henrietta Hazelton has threatened to ruin Madeline.”
That bit of news served to quiet his sister for a moment. She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. “Really?”
“I cannot share the details,” Justin continued, “but suffice it to say it’s not an empty threat.”
Veronica appeared to contemplate that information for another moment. “It doesn’t matter, if you marry Madeline, you’ll save her reputation.”
Justin closed his eyes and forced himself to count to five. “I can’t marry her.”
“Why not?” Veronica’s hand was back on her hip.
“Because, because I—”
“Because you what? Because you love her and you’re afraid of love?”
That was it. His sister had crossed the line. Justin stalked to his desk, set down his empty glass, and pulled on his coat that had been hanging off the back of his chair. “Nonsense. My situation is completely different from yours. You were already married. Already in love. I’m… I’m…” Damn it. She’d left him at a loss for words. “I’m going out,” he finally barked before stomping toward the door.
He was already in the corridor when her final words met his ears. “It’s too late, Justin. You’re already in love too!”
Justin had been at his favorite gaming hell for the better part of two hours before he realized he was going through the motions. He wasn’t even mildly interested in the game of faro he’d been playing despite the absurd amount of money he’d wagered, and he’d quickly dismissed the lovely woman who’d attempted to sit on his lap while she purred naughty things into his ear. Both things were completely unlike him.
Blast. Sitting here and losing money because his mind wasn’t in the game was foolish. He folded his hand and went out to stand on the balcony and clear his head.
He strode to the balustrade that overlooked the park. He braced his forearms atop the cool stone and stared out into the darkness. He closed his eyes and blew out a deep breath. Hell and damnation, what was wrong with him?
His sister’s words rang in his ears. They’d been ringing in his ears all blasted evening. He worried they might ring in his ears for the rest of his life.
You’re already in love too!
He’d quickly dismissed her statement as he’d stalked out of the house earlier, but now, now, he had to wonder if there was any truth in them.
It couldn’t possibly be true, could it? But if it wasn’t true, what was this feeling that had invaded his every waking moment? Regret? Guilt? What was this soul-numbing fear that he’d never see Madeline again?
Love?
Was that truly what was wrong with him? Was that what he was feeling? Edgefield had described it in the past as life changing. Justin had thought that sounded fine. For Edgefield. After all, the man was married to Justin’s sister. Edgefield had wanted a loving marriage. But Justin had never had any intention of falling in love. Love was for other people. Not a man who’d vowed he’d never hurt a woman the way his father had hurt his mother.
It had seemed simple enough. The way to keep from hurting anyone was to not fall in love with his wife or allow her to fall love in with him. Only, he had already hurt Madeline. There had been tears in her eyes when he’d sent her away. She’d been angry, too, of course, and he didn’t blame her for that, but she’d also been hurt. Was that because she’d fallen in love with him?
Was that the reason he couldn’t stop thinking about her, the reason he no longer enjoyed the sort of amusements he’d once considered his life’s purpose? He was in love with her? Veronica seemed convinced. Veronica’s other words haunted him as well. You’re not Father and you never will be. You never can be. You’re caring and thoughtful and respectful and kind. You’re a good man.
Justin had never seen himself that way. He’d always seen himself as someone who could not resist temptation. He’d taken to the pleasures of London as a teen and never looked back. His father told him again and again how he was just like him. But was Veronica right?
Of course, it was true. He wasn’t his father. They were two separate people. Could Justin actually make the decision to treat a wife with kindness and respect and love if he committed to her? He couldn’t imagine ever cheating on Madeline. He couldn’t imagine purposely making her cry. He couldn’t imagine being a selfish lout. Father had been a selfish lout. In more ways than one. He’d always wanted his way, insisted on his favorite meals, ensured that his decisions ruled all. Justin had never been like that. He took his sisters’ feelings into consideration. He asked Mama her opinion on things. He ensured everyone in his family was happy and taken care of. Father had never given a toss about any of them. And Justin had assumed the worst about himself all these years.
He lowered his head and blew out another breath. He shook his head and uttered a humorless chuckle. Blast it. Veronica was right. She had told him a few things he’d needed to hear. God forbid he ever told her she was right, however. He chuckled again. He looked up into the dark night sky and shook his head again. By God, he’d been the biggest fool imaginable. Instead of sending Madeline away, he should have begged the woman to marry him.
He turned and made his way back through the gaming hell, ignoring the disappointed looks from the women he passed as he headed straight toward the door. He didn’t give a toss about playing cards and charming ladies. There was only one lady he wanted to charm. He had to find a way to get Madeline back. It wouldn’t be easy. He could hardly believe he was contemplating such a thing and as much as it pained him to admit—he would need his meddlesome sisters’ help.
