Lucas stared at his friend as if he didn’t know him. “This whole time you’ve known that, and you didn’t tell me?”
Bell stepped forward and wrapped his arm around Lucas’s shoulders. He walked him over to the cot that rested against the wall and they sat down, side-by-side. “Kendall, I’ve known you since we were barely more than children ourselves. You are honest, trustworthy, and kind. You’re one of the best men I’ve ever known. But you’ve never been cut out for politics. You’re far too loyal. And far too decent.”
Lucas took a deep, bracing breath. He was about to admit something to Bell he’d never admitted to anyone. He stared down at his boots in the shadows. “The truth is, I’ve always felt as if I wasn’t supposed to be—”
“I know.” Bell nodded sagely. “You weren’t supposed to be the earl.”
“You know that, too? Bloody hell man, youdoknow everything.” Lucas couldn’t help his half-smile, but the truth was his friend was one of the most perceptive people he’d ever met.
“Perhaps noteverything,” Bell replied with a smile of his own. “Look, you may not be earl by birth order, but I say destiny doesn’t make mistakes. Whether you were born to the position or not, you’re the earl now, and you have the power to make large decisions, decisions that affect others, decisions that affect the country. Your brother was a decent man, but he never saw beyond his own nose, I’m afraid. You, you’re different. You see two sides to a story. You empathize with others. You care about them. All you need to do now is trust yourself.”
“‘Trust myself,’” Lucas echoed, mocking the words.
“Yes, trust. Yourself. You’ll have no better counsel in life. You’ve always known the right thing to do. Now you simply must do it when it comes to Parliament and the vote.”
“And Miss Wharton,” Lucas added, expelling his breath.
“And Miss Wharton,” Bell echoed, grinning at him.
Lucas groaned and rubbed a knuckle against his forehead. “I’ve spent the better part of the last year arguingforthe bill with anyone who would listen.”
“And you only have a month or two to argue against it,” Bell pointed out. “But something tells me with Miss Wharton at your side, you’re certain to win.”
Lucas clenched his jaw. “She won’t be at my side. She’s going to hate me when she finds out who I am.”
Bell lifted his brows. “Even if she learns you’ve changed your mind about the bill?”
“It doesn’t change the fact that I’ve lied to her a dozen different ways.” Lucas bounced his fist atop his knee.
Bell nodded, slowly. “All you can do is tell the truth, Kendall, and leave the future to the stars.”
Lucas took a deep, steadying breath and looked out the window at the night sky. “Tell me, Lord Bellingham, when did you become so wise?”
Bell shrugged. “I’m even wiser at a decent hour.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Lucas got to the library early. He hadn’t been able to sleep, so he’d tossed off the blankets and got out of bed. He’d dressed himself, quite deliberately, as the Earl of Kendall, managing to do so without the aid of a valet.
The Clayton livery was packed in his trunk. He fully intended to burn the odious clothing at his first opportunity. No. He wouldn’t burn it. He’d give the clothing to one of his servants. His time belowstairs had taught him the importance the working class placed on valuable items discarded upstairs. It often contributed greatly to the income of a servant fortunate enough to receive such a gift from his master.
His own time as a servant had come to an end. He’d tossed his last log on the fireplace.
This was it. No matter what else happened, he intended to tell Frances the truth today. He was through with lies. If she hated him, so be it. It would be better than living with the regret of not knowing what could have been between them. He’d planned this carefully. As Lucas, he’d asked her in the servants’ hall yesterday to meet him here today. As Kendall, he’d replied to her note this morning, writing that he looked forward to meeting with her before he left.
He was sitting at the table, the windows to his back, when Frances entered. She wore a butter-colored gown and matching slippers. Her dark hair was twined around the crown of her head in two braids. She’d never looked more beautiful, and he was about to hurt her.
His chest tightened. He clenched his jaw.
She rushed straight to him, a string of words already flying from her pink lips. “Lucas. Lucas! You won’t believe it. Lord Kendall sent me a note saying he’ll meet with me. But he didn’t give any details, the coward. No matter. I intend to go looking for him directly after this.” She stopped short, really looking at him for the first time since she’d come in. “Why are you dressed that way? Where is your wig?” Her smooth forehead wrinkled into a frown.
He’d stood to greet her and moved to the side of the table. Pulling out the last chair for her, he gestured to it. “Please sit down.”
Watching him carefully, the frown still perched upon her brow, she tentatively stepped forward and lowered herself to her chair. “You’re frightening me, Lucas.”
Standing behind her, Lucas closed his eyes, then slowly opened them again. “You don’t have to go looking for Lord Kendall.”
“What do you mean?” The quiet innocence in her tone made him even angrier with himself. Regret clawed at his insides.
